same old story….

 December 29, 2019

i   am  a  little     victim
      rising  from   the
            ashes
      a  hero’s  welcome
            shining
                the   winning
                        ticket

a   phoenix     or      the   chicken
            roasted   none
                  theless
            cooked  in
                                  tapasya

we                    emerge
              dripping
                      as      gold
      or
                            grease
the   wheels
                    of          learning

Aggressive….

 December 29, 2019

          Aggressive                        Allows / accepting / lets be

          Engaged / interested          Uninterested / withdrawn / avoiding

spanda                      grace                         spirit
                                          manifests                                 into
              word
                                          manifests                        into
    wor(l)d

       manifests                                                       each of   us

                          as   we   play   on   the   playground
                                        of   wor(l)d

                                              God’s   choice                                                                                     manifests   us

      as
Love
                                                                                            or fight
                      and   challenges  the  wor(l)d play

               through  past                         effort

                                                      we                       earn   our   side
right  effort                         at   all                                     costs

                        brings      forth                                   Love

Abusive….

 December 22, 2019

Abusive                Nurturing

Normal                Weird

Autumn Spanda: Painting Time-lapse

 December 15, 2019

Timelapse of one of my recent paintings, ‘Autumn Spanda.’ Oil on canvas. 

so pretty….

 December 15, 2019

living
                                          life
          ruins             aesthetic

    close                    senses
            shut                sensors

fancy           flutters          film
                    over                        facts    

      live           in            images
            of                                    dream
                    state
                              only

      miss    Love
                      not            know
            Love

      waste   bin   of  life
                miss               whole
                          point

to pretty                       with nothing
                  in it                                 

      vehicles                  vapor                                    

           Love    the                                soul
                                      reason

Personal….

 December 15, 2019

Personal                                                                   Impersonal

Entangled / involved / invasive / busybody            Nonattached / minds own business

de-spelling poisons….

 December 8, 2019

         poison                      food
                      expelled
                                                                  violently

         poison                       ingested
                      through                        air
            coughed
watered
                                                                      out

            poison    of    hurt
                                                                  hate                  wounds
                                    heart
                        so                         deep
                                      crying
                                                                                tears
                              of   toxins
                                                                    leaving

expelling
                                      poison
                                                                    takes                  Grace

                                to    incinerate    toxins
                                                              into                           Love

All-pervasive Universal Guru….

 December 8, 2019

All-pervasive Universal Guru

Guru functioning through human vehicles

Does not focus/aid one individual

Guides/directs individuals to their fulfillment in God

ace….

 December 1, 2019

i   am    a   tool
    respect    my
                tools
  when      a     nail
                goes    into
                          wood
            i     respect
                                  the   hammer
            use     the
                            tools
                with        care
                              and     love
            and        gratitude
                                  that   God
              created             the
                                need
                      and        solution
                a        soul       needs
                                        healing
                      back       to           home
                acknowledge
                                      the      tool
                    the  Guru   is
                                            God’s  tool

Cosmic Guru….

 December 1, 2019

Cosmic Guru                                                                                   Mundane material individual

Unrelatable / no personal response / impersonal / removed           Human / personal / connected / compassionate

Who’s in Charge of Your Meditation?

 December 1, 2019

Rohini explains how what we do in the world, we do when we turn inward in meditation. If we try to control or “run” our meditation, we are not meditating. In meditation, we have to surrender as we go inward, and not attach ourselves to anything we experience along the way.

Defensive….

 November 24, 2019

Defensive                    Receptive / eager to learn

Committed                  Easily manipulated / impressionable

reflections….

 November 24, 2019

two   birds
                      meet
        at    the            window

their  souls
                                  stunned
      different                               degrees

                                   patience
        will                    stirred
                with          shakti
                        surrender
        God’s                decision

                       to breathe
                      to blink
                      to walk
        to                                         fly
                          again
                                          actors
          play
                            and   part

the empathetic chair….

 November 17, 2019

   it   feels
                    for    me

   following   me
                                  around
        the  room
                                  bringing
comfort
                                  before
        lacking
                          meeting
concrete
                              view
      from    bottom

relief                          now
      from     above

the care                   the chair

      brings   to   the  table

all  places                all times

                       every    wear
every  where
                              it  bears
            my  weight
      hour             wait

Optimistic / magical thinking….

 November 17, 2019

Optimistic / magical thinking                                              Realistic / facing facts

Authentic hope / knowing that God runs everything          Cynical / negative

homage….

 November 10, 2019

         get                            out
                    of   here
                get                          to
                    the  chopper

         put                            up
                    no
        put                            down
                    no

         out                            put
        put                            out
                    no

         take                           care
    walk                 around
                                          walk
              about
                                          get
      to           chop
                                          out
            what          kills
                        Love

         run          walk          crawl
                      to        the     chopper

         free            to             Love
                      to        live
                            to            say
                                quietly
                      you          can’t
                                            stop   me

Project / broken wing….

 November 10, 2019

Project / broken wing                                        Self-sufficient / self-advocate

Fought for / supported / off the hook                On your own / neglected / unsupported

unsubscribed….

 November 3, 2019

national  geographic
                            gorgeous
        gouge

rural          but
            not
                                            fences
fertilizer              focus
                    on                   paddys

          traffic                traipse
                  through
    dirting                       dust

intentionally                      in
            idealic
                                          idea
    inconsistent         inconsiderate
  smells       sounds
sock         souls

all                    contribute
      crushing                    ferns
                    cry
            praying               prey
tiny   wings                   taking
                refuge                inside
        refuse            to     leave

all                    biting
                              we    laugh
                      and    vacate
                no            subscription
                      to
                                magazine

The unwillingness to be messy….

 November 3, 2019

The unwillingness to be messy will always keep you from being honest. 

Project manager….

 November 3, 2019

Project manager                                 Upholds standards

Caring guide / caring mentor            Rule enforcer / harsh

the new flood….

 October 27, 2019

          God
    is  drowning   us
        in   our 
                      minds

He used
        psychologyphilosophyeducationtechnologyparenting
    to    misread
                    feelings

 no     feelings

power
                                        success
          letters
      dug            into
                                          pool

  no                        air
          no   light
                          no    life
  mind    pain       not
                                                  true  feeling
dead
                    as  life
        life     as  dead

Whatever your customary….

 October 27, 2019

Whatever your customary emotional strategy for achieving safety is, it’s actually dangerous, and it makes you dangerous.

Project manager….

 October 27, 2019

Project manager                Hands off

Needed / essential            Unnecessary

know it all….

 October 20, 2019

    knowing    what
        do  not
              know

is
        knowing
                    so
      much

get  to
      be
  where                                
                              we
          are
  not
                  somewhere
else
            move  

         God
                      lights
the   runway

Someone who regards….

 October 20, 2019

Someone who regards their feeling of woundedness as their core and sees everything through the lens of that woundedess has no real core, and will only would others and themselves. 

Keep fighting….

 October 20, 2019

Keep fighting              Serve the situation

Have a voice               Cave in

opinion peace….

 October 13, 2019

we
    twist
      stretch
                      truth
  minimize
          shrink
change focus

  pop    and           realign
          emphasis
what is    important
    is      always
                      changing
what        happened  is
            changing

    history
past    present         no longer
            valid

    degrade   institutions
        downplay    good
  stir all in pot

important  and         trivial
                  same weight

        hysterical              trumps
              valid   trauma

If you believe….

 October 13, 2019

If you believe there is power in not feeling, you are choosing death over life.

Rebellious

 October 13, 2019

Rebellious                                                             Respectful / team player

How to have a voice / standing up for self          Submissive / not special

marching orders….

 October 6, 2019

                  Arjuna  tried  to
        run
  but  you in  your
  kindness
            checked  him
on  the  field

                  how slow  i
        have  been
  so  sure  of   doing
    your   work
            when

                  in  fact   i
        have  avoided
  my  real  work
            for you
now tired  and   old

                  i turn to
          the  tasks  of  facing
    this   nightmare
              may  your Grace  be  as
i go  into  battle

Superimposing a narrative….

 October 6, 2019

Superimposing a narrative on vibrations rather than just letting them come up as they are is choosing fantasy over life. 

Conventional wisdom….

 October 6, 2019

Conventional wisdom                  Fake it until you make it / make it up as you go / out of touch / flaky

Trite / unimaginative                   Profound / creative / original

Narratives Never End Well

 September 30, 2019

Starting from her poem “Ode to the Washbear,” Rohini explains how the shrunken self is nothing more than a narrative, and its efforts to fit experience, and other people, into that narrative are always limiting and destructive. Spiritual practice requires us to identify, disentangle from, and dismantle our narratives.

The only way out….

 September 29, 2019

The only way out of hell is to surrender to what is.

white flag….

 September 29, 2019

i  give  up
      do it
  your   way

        ran   from
      you  coddled   me
        for so     long
  until   i   was

        willing    to
                  do      it
  your   way       the  way
        that  would
            make  me
God          world
            in     harmony

Data driven

 September 29, 2019

Data driven                   Unfounded / unreliable / unscientific / random

Misses the point           Intuitive

ode to the washbear….

 September 22, 2019

the gentle     man
                          well
  mannered
                          never
  intrusive
                          quietly
    going
                  doing
his   business

        respectful

    until                     this
              morning
    when                               he
lay
                  just  by

        the        road

dead                             unceremoniously
              left

                          discourteous      driver
well   mannered                            raccoon

Never confuse feeling….

 September 22, 2019

Never confuse feeling devastated with turning inward.

Facing the facts….

 September 22, 2019

Facing the facts                                                            Delusional / denial

Violent / wrenching from my reality / disruptive        Maintaining niceness / goodness

 September 15, 2019

the pride….

the world cheers
        to              proud
        to              love
marching
                                    forward   to
  its          death

      soldiers
              falling
  from
              self esteem

   learning
              ejected
from          education

         truth
        facts
        clear
        clean

         forgotten
                  for
        blurring
        opinion
        own
        mine
  to         proud
                    we   go

Love   shrinks
                    proud
booms              across  the
                  room
we   believe
        proud    stands
tall       as
      our   force
      our   sentinel

   making  us
miss
        why
  we  are
  who 
              we  are
proud     fools
        us
  into    fools

                  shrunken
only
      illusion
      mirrors
      smoke
  delusion
                  tools
proud   uses
      true shrunken  self

care   has  no
                                            place

    tied
        together

  communion
flattery                        false
                    platitudes
        ink
                                  reality

  spell   check
                  our  weapon
        fixed     us

we    are   one
      we   are    me
me    is    all

    no    two

too  proud  to  Love

Envy is the….

 September 15, 2019

Envy is the inner feeling of lack turning outward to look at someone who appears to have something you don’t. 

Surrender to what is….

 September 15, 2019

Surrender to what is / accept               Live in fantasy

Cave in                                               Uphold ideal / remain faithful

codebreaker….

 September 8, 2019

God said
                          no flood

so  we are          drowning

in                        algorithm

we    drown       in

             narrative
which is the binding of
        matrika shakti
                                    magic used

by God to fool             us

         after                   all             

                  God controls
                          the world

within                 world game

                                                     one who has control

over
your narrative

                                             controls                               your world


                                God               provides             tools

                  God                    embeds               solution
in                                                                                                all

                                             fourchotomy                    tool
              unlocks                                    matrika

once                                      ununderstood
                  mother                                                                      revealed

                                              can break

                     algorithm                           narrative

Being with your experience….

 September 8, 2019

Being with your experience is never having a conversation with yourself. It has to happen at the level of vibrations, before the letters and words form.

Chaos….

 September 8, 2019

Chaos                               Harmony

Creativity / fecundity      Stagnation

Delegating Upward, Part Two

 September 7, 2019

Rohini continues her discussion of “delegating upward” by explaining how willful this behavior can be, especially when the “delegators” thrive on conflict and seek to feel powerful by frustrating others. When we are truly serving, “we” disappear and the focus is the work itself. 

Delegating Upward, Part One

 September 7, 2019

Rohini explains how, in a variety of settings, people can selfishly toggle between “delegating upward”–passing their tasks to their superiors–and going rogue without appropriate checks. By placing their dramas and perceived needs above the work itself and its larger purpose, they undermine what they pretend to support. 

seekers….

 September 1, 2019

algorithm    for
                          God
                  is

not                             

        that    is

                                    correct

no                                algorithm


creator of            algorithm

                    is    not

experiencer               

not                      the experience


creator of
                                                    experience

steady                                   blue pearl

witness               who is also

                  dancer

not the                         vehicles

                  who                             dances

                  through
                  vehicles

seekers               dance the seeking

                  dancer                         laughs

“I’ll get back to….”

 September 1, 2019

“I’ll get back to practicing as soon as I’m done with this.” A good way to go completely off track.

Knowing your audience….

 September 1, 2019

Knowing your audience                Oblivious / insensitive 

Complicit / forsaking self            Speaking your truth / expressing your voice

The Subtlety of Real Learning Part Two

 August 26, 2019

Rohini continues her explanation of the nature of real learning. Drawing on readings and her own experiences, she examines the dangers of abstraction and false equivalencies, and clarifies the nature of true mastery on a subtle level. 

coverings….

 August 25, 2019

         clothes
  are

 black
brown
red
yellow
white

yet             always
      remain
  blue

acting        in so many
                      ways
yet
        remain
                  always
  still

so many letters          
        so many vibrations
yet                      only
        one sound
                  one word

so many vehicles
yet
                  none         are             me

The question is….

 August 25, 2019

The question is, when the round comes next, can you choose not to sing?

Upholding tradition….

 August 25, 2019

Upholding tradition                 Degrading / defaming

Rigid / isolating                      Expansive / understanding

The Subtlety of Real Learning

 August 22, 2019

Drawing on her poem “The Magic Formula” and an episode from Eiji Yoshikawa’s novel “Musashi,” Rohini explains how real mastery is subtle and extends to everything a master does, and real learning involves a willingness to be humble, empty yourself of ideas, and accept what is offered in the instruction. 

the magic formula

 August 18, 2019

and the               recipe

                  issssssssssssssssssss

be
                          with experience
        whatever it
                  is

let     whatever 
                          comes up
                  come up

function   
                  appropriately
                                            on
                                                      the physical plane

this   breaks
                      i                              down

       won’t                  follow
                                                      the   recipe

      i  follow       my
                                                              ideas
but
          the  outcome
                                    not                     same

tweaking            narrative
                    maintains                        shrunken   self
                        wrong                incantation

            preserves         their                            selves

recipe                    does    not
                                                                    use
                                                                            preservatives

i                              is   going                         to   rot

                           wrong              recipe                rots

everything                                                       inside                  out

practice                            internal recipe
                          to                 uncover                    I

Attachment creates false….

 August 18, 2019

Attachment creates false dichotomies, which in turn create conflict where there is no real conflict.

Everything is wrong in the world….

 August 18, 2019

Everything is wrong in the world              Everything is right in the world

Seeing clearly / savvy                               Pollyanna

see to see….

 August 11, 2019

we         must
                              get
  under           the
              see
  to                               see
              the  real

  the     waves
                        of  vibrations
            wash
                          over
  the                               truth
                  churning
                  spinning

until                we        drown
                  in    our
                          own   vision

            dive            under
                      and
      finally               we
                  breathe
          see          the        light
                  of           God

If you want….

 August 11, 2019

If you want to be free, you have to be truthful with yourself.

Obvious….

 August 11, 2019

Obvious             Subtle

Transparent       Obscured

free for all….

 August 4, 2019

                           chaos
                  disruption
                                                      distraction

creates
                  the   perfect
      environment
                                                              for
                  repression
            look                         out
don’t                     do                        it

                      order
                                settles
                                            into
          freedom
  and                                    order
          creates
  a                                       home
                          for
                          All
                          of
                          us

You cannot hear….

 August 4, 2019

You cannot hear what is under someone else’s surface presentation unless you are willing to hear your own deeper motivations and vibrations.

The one with the right answers….

 August 4, 2019

The one with the right answers                                         Second fiddle

Plotting / scheming / manipulating / wannabe alpha       Open to seeing others’ point of view / benevolent

i doctor….

 July 28, 2019

   if            you            see             it
                        everywhere                   it
                                is
                                    in               you

         it                     is
                                                inclusive

   we        judge
                              and    so
            join                     the club
        it                                      includes
                                                              all
                          differences

         it                       is
                                    in                        all
                                                      of     us

                    remove
                                    by
                                                  acceptance
            stop
                          looking
        at             
                                                              others

              look
                          within
                  accept      
                                    and
                                        clean
                          no
                                                      longer
                          part            of
                  that                                       club

All
                                    Love
                  All
                                                              One

The phrase “I need….”

 July 28, 2019

The phrase “I need to practice” means you are not practicing. The phrase “I am practicing” also means you are not practicing.

Ruins everything….

 July 28, 2019

Ruins everything / uproots          Refuses to change

Trauma / chaos                           Protecting / safety

The Heart Wins Wars

 July 27, 2019

Rohini discusses the anger and hate that fester beneath “niceness,” and how the seat of the emotions is their battlefield. She conveys through word and experience how the way to overcome hate is to accept it within ourselves so we can arrive at Love, our true nature, which is the only real freedom. 

flag on the play….

 July 21, 2019

   indifference    to             
                                                        vice

         redirect
                  to      God
focus            toward
                          God
        stop
                    the          play
              false                                    idols

         disentangle         fromthemess
                                                          ofmatter
                            be            free
                  in
                          God

Focus on the experiences….

 July 21, 2019

Focus on the experiences, not the objects that appear to give rise to them.

Above humanity….

 July 21, 2019

Above humanity

Misplaced priorities

Sees all as objects

Values others

Who Drives the Mind

 July 20, 2019

Drawing on Swami Hariharananda’s commentary on the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, Rohini details what Hariharananda calls the habitual states of the mind. She explains how most seekers have what he calls a distracted mind, which is sometimes calm and sometimes disturbed. They tend to believe that the calm state of their mind is their true self, when in reality the mind, in all its conditions and activities, is just a vehicle for the Self. 

All we are as shrunken….

 July 14, 2019

All we are as shrunken selves is a conglomeration of effects.

Does what’s necessary….

 July 14, 2019

Does what’s necessary                         Weak-willed

Inhuman / completely heartless           Values others

stay in your lane….

 July 7, 2019

the car mechanic
                  repairs       and
works        on       with                  cars

the medical doctor      pt     kinesiologist       acupuncturist
                  repairs and works on   with
                                                      physical bodies

the psychologist   therapist   psychiatrist
                  repairs and works on   with
                                                      psychic instrument

energy worker works
                  on                               energy


they stay in

                  their lanes

the guru removes
                          ignorance

                                            detaches  attachment

                          of vehicles

brings us to
                          light
                                    love
                                                      who we are

The fact that something….

 July 7, 2019

The fact that something isn’t your responsibility doesn’t mean that it is none of your business.

Reflective….

 July 7, 2019

Reflective / self-questioning               Heedless / bull-headed

Ineffectual / wishy-washy                  Decisive

Run from Spiritual Practice….

 July 1, 2019

Rohini discusses how people often run away from true spiritual practice, either because they believe it means putting up with abuse in the name of unconditional love or because they are sure that their humanity lies in their individuality, and cannot accept that Love ultimately dissolves our attachment to individuality.

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punctuation….

 June 30, 2019

what   time  is   it

      now

  this         moment

past         present
          and

      future

right             now

relative
              reality
    is
        limited      reality
    shrunken    into
                  time
we    live
                          truly
      in
Absolute

      where       time
                  is
        All
                  the  time
        we      think     is
                  now
            and      then   and
                  soon
there
        we    never 
                            miss
      an        appointment

because
        we             are
        always
  on      time
                  in   the
                            m o m e n t
we     never   forget
                          punctual
          pastpresentfuture
                                                      is

                  now

Knowing your system….

 June 30, 2019

Knowing your system doesn’t mean you’ll know the Self, but not knowing your system will keep you from knowing the Self.

Irritated….

 June 30, 2019

Irritated / impatient / agitated                Calm / caring

Productive / gets things done                Do-nothing / leaves it alone

the point….

 June 23, 2019

         good
                    me

bad       me

          none
            is
                          I

          good

bad

                      adjective

   is           off             the
          anu

the   anu  is   not

             you

The best “you”….

 June 23, 2019

The best “you” your system will tell you to be will still never be you.

Sensory data collection….

 June 23, 2019

Sensory data collection                 Flawed analysis

Inadequate data collection            Clear cognizing

weather the storm….

 June 16, 2019

  whether  the  storm
                  or
        not
the

                  chaos
        shines
                        on earth

         internal
                        weather
            at
                    equinox

                will            be
                        still

resting                         in the
                  Heart

         do        not         leave
                  this     anu

            the     point
        is    us
radiating                      out

         ballooning
                  forth
  we    reckon
        with
                  fate
  still    the  chaos
                  shines
  until
        we    learn
      who   we      are

  the  storm   is
        for  us

      weather  it
        and

  shine

To be concerned….

 June 16, 2019

To be concerned about someone else’s system is to be doubly outward-turned. It’s your system that wants to do that.

Collateral damage….

 June 16, 2019

Collateral damage                 Valued / saved

In the game / participant       On the bench

crossing….

 June 9, 2019

   so     much     to    handle

        four        bodies
  four   states
        three       so
                              obvious
              only
                        when
        in     fourth

    can’t     cope
                  can’t     play
    can’t     see
              until    we
    land
                  in
                                    fourth

  by    Guru’s   grace
        anchored    in     fourth
pulling  us
              in     across
                      the

        span

                  of
                    waking
  tundra            dream
          deep    sleep

                    to
              meet    our         Self
                        in

turiya

If you are not….

 June 9, 2019

If you are not willing to be the “bad guy,” you will receive plenty of affirmation for abandoning yourself.

Committed to your own reality or truth….

 June 9, 2019

Committed to your own reality or truth               Manipulated

Fanatical / no reality testing                                Able to change

The Guru Is Still the Means

 June 8, 2019

Rohini revisits how some people believe that following a “recipe” will give them success and happiness. Others fear Love because they see it as messy, or threatening to their sense of self. Both of these beliefs close off the path to Love, because they reject the Guru, the Grace-bestowing power of God.

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Looking back on “A Day To Practice” with Rohini….

 June 5, 2019

Murray Edwards College, Cambridge
May 18th, 2019

At this workshop, twenty of us were able to spend an entire day with Rohini, experiencing her teaching in person and receiving shaktipat from her. The workshop was divided into two sessions, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, with a few breaks including an hour for lunch at a nearby pub. After the workshop, many of us joined Rohini for dinner at a restaurant.

The morning session started at 9:30 with a reception in an atrium downstairs from the teaching room in which the workshop proper would unfold. For some attendees, it was their first chance to meet Rohini in person. A few were encountering her for the first time in any way. Many of us met each other for the first time as well. There was a strong sense of community that arose from gathering to be with Rohini. We were all there for a shared purpose: to strengthen and deepen our sadhana.

Rohini started the workshop with two readings. The first was a passage from Baba’s book Secret of the Siddhas describing the course of an ordinary life lived in ignorance. The second was her poem “mild medium intense,” which is about how shaktipat has varying degrees of intensity, and how people differ in what they receive from it. As Rohini then said, “We are not here to optimize our shrunken selves.” From the start, she emphasized the true goal of spiritual practice.

Rohini continued by raising the question, “Who is the Guru?” The Guru is, as she explained, the Grace-bestowing power of God that can work through an individual. Following a brief discussion, she shifted the question to “What is shaktipat?” After some students ventured answers, she defined it as initiation through an infusion of spiritual energy from the Guru, who can give shaktipat through touch, look, word, or thought. She also read a technical passage from Swami Vishnu Tirtha’s book Devatma Shakti that explains how shaktipat unfolds through our vehicles.

From here, Rohini moved on to the question, “What is meditation?” She clarified that in meditation, which is sustained one-pointed attention, the object of attention is crucial: a cat can meditate intensely on a mouse, but there is nothing spiritual in that. At the first level, we focus on an outward object such as the breath. At the second level, we focus on a mantra or other sacred words. At the third level, our will is directed completely toward the Heart. As she explained, we must bore inward through the gross physical, subtle, and causal bodies to the supracausal body, the dwelling place of the Heart. This means going consciously through the corresponding states of wakefulness, dreaming, and dreamless sleep to turiya, the state of the Witness of all other states.

After Rohini explained all this, we spent an hour in meditation. Rohini circulated among us and gave us all shaktipat by touch. Many of us had intense experiences; some of us were overwhelmed. When we shared our experiences afterward, Rohini helped people understand what had happened. She explained that kriyas, the involuntary movements the shakti gives rise to, are there to purify our vehicles. She made it clear to one student that it is okay to have your physical breathing stop during meditation as long as you remain focused on the Heart. She also removed that student’s anxiety; all the student had to do was look into Rohini’s eyes and be open to Grace. In the same way, Rohini burned up an old sadness in another student. This was the Guru’s Grace in action; many of us had seen or experienced it before, but it was entirely new to others. When a participant asked about what comes after awakening, Rohini explained that after shaktipat, our practice is not only about self-effort but is assisted by Grace.

After our lunch break at The Castle, Rohini opened the afternoon session by responding to a participant’s question about any “tension” there might be between sadhana and Rohini’s work in the world through I.R. Consilium. Rohini explained that there is no tension—sadhana is something we should do internally at all times, whatever our outward activities might be. She said, “There is no conflict between being a warrior and meditating,” and that a true warrior always comes from the place of interior stillness that sadhana makes possible for us.

Rohini then taught us about the cause and nature of bondage. We are wrongly identified with our vehicles, she explained, because we have forgotten our true nature as the Self of All. Using the three malas, or impurities, of Kashmir Shaivism (“I am separate,” “I am imperfect,” and “I am the doer of good and bad deeds”) and the five kleshas, or afflictions, of Yoga (ignorance, loss of subject in object, attraction, repulsion, and clinging to the life of the shrunken self), she clarified how we contract into shrunken existence. She also used five hacky sacks to illustrate how, as we go deeper within in our practice, what we used to think of as ourselves is revealed to be an object: “If you can perceive it, it cannot be you.” As we live from deeper and deeper within, we begin to master and use our vehicles instead of being used by them. After reading a passage from Baba’s Secret of the Siddhas on the nature of turiya, Rohini revealed to several of us in the room exactly what our wrong identifications were. They ranged from our physical body to our senses, personality, emotions, energy, work, relationships, and causal body. Rohini gave us the answers we needed before we could even ask the question. When a student asked which practice will get us beyond wrong identification, Rohini answered with the core of sadhana: be with your experience of the moment, let whatever comes up within come up, and function appropriately on the physical plane.

After this, Rohini explained the nature of the mind. First, she asked for Patanjali’s definition of Yoga: stilling the modifications of the mind. She then laid out for us the five modifications of consciousness (right knowledge, wrong knowledge, fancy, sleep, and memory) and the three parts of the psychic instrument: manas (the data collector), buddhi (the intellect, which makes decisions about the data), and ahamkara (the ego, which identifies with those decisions). When she explained the obstacles to practice and the symptoms of a distracted mind, she pointed out how often we try to distract ourselves from the symptoms of our distracted minds: “It’s not that you need to distract yourself; it’s that you’re already distracted. You need to turn in.”

Rohini used a two-sided mirror stand to show how the intellect comes to believe that it is the subject when in reality it is enlivened and illuminated by the true Subject, the Self. To drive this realization home, she read part of the story of Hui-neng, the Sixth Patriarch of Zen. When the Fifth Patriarch asked his disciples for a poem showing their understanding of Reality, his chief disciple wrote a poem about cleaning the mirror of the intellect and keeping it free from dust. Hui-neng, who was illiterate, dictated a poem revealing his true knowledge of the Absolute, beyond the intellect, where there is no mirror. Hui-neng was much closer to the goal. Rohini pointed out how many of us turn our practice into a monotonous round of cleaning our mirrors and soiling them, over and over again, because we love our problems.

At this point, students from elsewhere Webexed in for the weekly Lessons and Questions class. This was a very different experience for Rohini’s students in Maryland, who were accustomed to having this class in Rohini’s presence but now could see what it was like to have class from far away, as part of a much larger community. After a brief discussion of how, like baking, sadhana is not about some recipe but about from where within ourselves we are operating at each moment, Rohini led us in working on fourchotomies. The first two were “keep fighting” and “surrender to what is.” After two students worked on those, another worked on “data-driven.” Then a participant who hadn’t studied with Rohini before sought to understand how fourchotomies work. With Rohini’s guidance, several of us wrestled alongside him to help him understand two fourchotomies about qualities he valued: “athletic” and “kind.” The process helped all of us clarify our understanding of fourchotomies.

Athletic

Unfit

Obsessive

Enjoying life

Kind

Cruel

Pampering

Strict

After Lessons and Questions, we meditated for the better part of an hour. Again, Rohini gave each of us shaktipat by touch. People had a range of experiences, as being with Rohini for the whole workshop and receiving shaktipat had changed all of us in ways that were just beginning to manifest. After we shared some of our experiences, the students of EU Satsang presented Rohini with a gift for her seventieth birthday: money to buy a tree for the garden at her home in Maryland, with a lovely card painted by Rachel Brack Sharp. Rohini thanked them and thanked everyone for coming. We thanked her for her Grace, Love, and instruction. Then some of us gathered for dinner as a group, where Rohini was presented with a birthday cake baked by one of her students.

This was one day, but it was a day that can continue to transform our lives and lead us toward Love if we follow it up by practicing with persistence and rigor. We can’t always be with Rohini in person—for some of us, that will only happen once in a great while—but she is always with us. Those attendees who just met her should remember that we all can experience her guidance and instruction through her live classes, her blog posts, her videos on YouTube, and especially her website. We can subscribe to receive her blog posts via email, and more importantly we can subscribe at three different levels to her website and be able to visit, and revisit, hundreds of classes archived in video and audio.

the world matters….

 June 2, 2019

                  o real ly
    then

put             your home

       in                          order

matter                          matters

         only when
we                      know what

matter is

we think we are           what matter
    matters           but

we are all that matters

which        is               not
                                                matter

you cannot offend me only
    offend     my matter   which
ultimately does            not matter
to
              me                                                  
                                                or God

If you are aware….

 June 2, 2019

If you are aware of the world while also being focused inwardly on the Heart, you will have more time, because your vehicles don’t have to serve as the providers of solutions.

Perfect as you are….

 June 2, 2019

Perfect as you are                       Deeply flawed

Won’t learn, won’t change         Capable of redemption

choice….

 May 26, 2019

don’t do

                    it

though fun
            for
whom
        what
              where
                      when
why

don’t do
                  it

who
                  wins
we
                  lose

don’t

who is
                  i
winning

not me
        not you
                  not us
just
                  it

be
  instead
love
  instead

don’t do it

You have to know….

 May 26, 2019

You have to know how to drop your attitude. You can only do this if you know that your attitude isn’t who you are.

Enjoying yourself….

 May 26, 2019

Enjoying yourself             Slaving away

No self-control                 Working to the best of your ability

mild medium intense….

 May 19, 2019

  wow      shaktipat
            mild
      so        special
            peace
            calm
            soft
            quiet
                          greatness
  specialness
                                is
        who
                          i
                                      am

            medium
  fire             works
            lights
sounds                nada
            visions
  electric            shooting
beyond
            special   beyond
taking ownership
              my
        experiences
                  light
                  sound
                  touch
                  taste
                  smell
              special  me
          so      sure
                        am   i

            intense
              all   of      the
above
                          and
            really      who
                    I am
  no           more
                                            special
              just     am
                    me
                    us
                    all

              ownership     gone
                    identification
                                    gone
                    special beyond
                            beyond
                  being               no
                          difference
know
                      knowing      
                                            Love
                          All
                  unspecial Self
                        of All

If our only tool….

 May 19, 2019

If our only tool in relationships is entanglement of one form or another, we will never have a healthy relationship. We have to lose our taste for entanglement and stop calling it something else. 

Caring….

 May 19, 2019

Caring              Indifferent / inhuman

Entangled        Free

awareness….

 May 12, 2019

    the trick
non                 attached
        to all    yet
    informing      all
          by
    resting    in
            Heart
    manifesting
            yet   disentangled
        enjoying
            from the
              source
        by knowing
            the source
    occasions   do    not
                  fool
            any           more
      no praise          nor blame
            non attached
          from         and
eternally resting in
            Self

The more sure….

 May 12, 2019

The more sure you are in your head, the more you won’t see what matters. The more you are committed to an idea, the less safe you are for yourself and others.

Superior victim….

 May 12, 2019

Superior victim                               Inferior oppressor

Pathetic and unacknowledged        Powerful

Siren Song of Numbness

 May 11, 2019

Rohini discusses how people numb themselves inwardly because they believe that not feeling means being in control and powerful, when, in reality, they are choosing death over life. She then explains how to recognize this choice when we make it, and what to do about it.

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