What Love Is….

 December 30, 2012

Love is our nature. There is no object for this Love. We live in Love when we KNOW that all is us and we experience no difference from anything. We are no longer separate: all is perfect, all is one, and we perform all actions.

Everything comes from Love and is Love. Once we lose our wrong understanding, we know that all is Love. Our wrong understanding is that we do not know who we are. We believe we are what we think and feel, and that is not who we are. We cannot know who we are until we are who we are. We do this by giving up our individuality; then we know all is perfect because there is nothing that is not Love. We are the con of consciousness and then we become the sciousness. We move from individual with wrong understanding to Shakti to Shiva. We move from character to lover to Love itself.

Does God love creation? Absolutely. So God creates both loving and objects to love. We then turn around and re-enact this by trying to love God. We cannot love God until we become God. We have to sacrifice ourselves in the fire of purgation, which is the fire of Love, to then emerge as Love. God always Loves; that is God’s nature. All is the same, all is love. So we have to give up our limited creation, to which we are so devoted, in order to return to who we really are. This is what God asked of Jesus in Gethsemane and of every other great being, and what God continues to ask of each of us. Yet our shrunken selves refuse, and remain devoted to our wrong understanding.

Our first step is right listening. If we will not obey our outer teachers, we will not have a chance with our inner teacher, the Guru. If we think, then we are not listening. If we feel, then we are not listening. Go inward, beyond the mind, to where God and Guru speak. Then you will begin to recognize our true nature—Love.

Needy love….

 December 30, 2012

Needy love

Nonattached love

Connected

Impersonal

In order to get….

 December 30, 2012

In order to get true Love, we must give up our attachment to pleasure.

Feelings Are Not the Heart….

 December 24, 2012

Rohini explains how we have to realize that the Heart lies much deeper than our emotions do. For more videos and lessons, sign up for a free or paid subscription.

If you resonate….

 December 23, 2012

If you resonate with someone else’s vibration, you aren’t clean and clear, so you can’t take in what they are experiencing. You are drowning with them.

Celebrate….

 December 23, 2012

Celebrate

Party pooper

Binge

Sober

The Holidays….

 December 23, 2012

The Holidays. This time of year in the West we find a focus on one or two particular holidays, Christmas and New Year’s. However, throughout the world holidays are always arriving and subsiding. If we look at most major holidays, they have their roots in religion, in the focus on God. And yet the secular side of life has taken ownership of these holidays, removing God and religious roots from them, and celebrating them far more religiously and fanatically than the devout ever could.

If we strip away the commercial and even cultural components of the now celebrated holidays we can find the original essence. Love for all people, understanding of both God and the world; we find behind most holidays the knowledge of True family. This is what most holidays go back to; they shine a bright light on God and our true nature.

And yet we are in this world and we enjoy creating and expressing, so we cannot just have love and joy, we always want more. And because of ignorance, our love becomes twisted love, which manifests as the desire for sense pleasure. That pleasure then becomes our goal and we miss the essence of creation. There is nothing wrong with the world, just with our wrong understanding of it. The problem is that once we have made the world into something it is not, we then relate with it in a way that perpetuates our own delusion. We either identify and grasp for success in the world as the pinnacle of all existence or we trash it and throw it on the ground. Both are incorrect. Everything changes when we see the world as an expression of God.  We then see that God shows us each the play, with the characters and scenery and actions that we need to return Home. What a great play this is for each of us. The world then supports us and we are here to learn.

Then the holidays are reminders of what is truly important. We see the heightened moment called Holiday as a great opportunity to meet each other and our Selves. We then can see God in everything, every action and everyone. Our families become less personal and more universal and definitely humorous. We can then not take the gatherings so seriously and we see the humor in the characters, the parts we all play so well.

So let us face the holidays with real understanding of their true import. Do not inappropriately exalt them or trash them. Let us practice seeing them as an expression of God’s wonderful play, which is helping us to return Home to Him.

Hurt….

 December 17, 2012

Hurt

Comforted

Challenged to learn

Enabled

By Identifying….

 December 17, 2012

By identifying the small self as who we are, we make everything personal. What a shame.

The Crisis behind the Crisis….

 December 17, 2012

This is not about guns, though guns do make killing easier. These were six and seven year olds. Guns were not necessary. Small children are not a threat, and in no way can they fight back. This is about our attachment to violence and our idolatry of the individual. Instead of seeing that we all share in one life, we see everyone else as an object—either an influence to be fought or a thing to be manipulated or/and destroyed. We are training our young people to see themselves as the only real, living human beings in the world.

What is it we are pursuing? For us, it is all about pain and pleasure, sensory experiences that we see as making our life good or bad. We do not care about each other. And if we actually went into our Hearts we would see that the pain of others is in fact our pain. We have lost the ability to empathize, to feel for each other. The truth is that there is only one “I”, and it includes us all. That means your pain is my pain; your happiness is my happiness. There is no need to be jealous or relieved, because it is all just us. No one is excluded; we are one. That is why it is so sad to see us hurt each other. The wrong understanding is that we are separate individuals who have no connection with anyone else. This is just not true.

We have somehow decided that the individual is more important than the greater good of a society, even that the individual is more important than God. We have championed the small self with all its wrong understanding. The small self, the character we are playing here, has only a shrunken understanding, and when left to its own devices will do everything to survive on its own. The Siva Sutras establish three impurities:  “I am imperfect”, “I am separate”, and “I am the doer of good and bad deeds”. These impurities, by which the small self lives and destroys, delude us into thinking we have power and control. And we will even destroy our own bodies, believing we have ultimate power when in fact once we do that our small self dies as our body dies. Who we really are is beyond these temporary vehicles.

The Self is not individual, the Self is all. So these children have sacrificed for all of us. They are showing us what is truly important—not how precious and fleeting our individual lives are, but how we are all one Life in God. It is up to us to learn from them, to return to what is Real and True. We need to give up our wrong understanding, our fascination with power and control, the things that drive us further apart, that encourage us to believe what is not true to be true.  Our true nature is Love, so activities that alienate us from one another in fact weaken us. Our strength is in seeing all as us—not as a nice idea but as a practice and a Reality.

Q&A about “Walking Home with Baba”….

 December 16, 2012

Rohini answers questions about the content of her new book “Walking Home with Baba: The Heart of Spiritual Practice”. For more videos and lessons, sign up for a free or paid subscription.

Autopterodidactyl….

 December 10, 2012

If you are self-taught, you do not know what you do not know. The only dialogue is between you and you, which means that you believe you can dictate your position in any environment. You are unwilling to be educated. This leaves you with two options:  either you are always right, or at the very least the most knowledgeable, or you are the most inferior. It does not matter which, because either way everyone else exists only in relation to you. Either way, the qualities that emerge are pride and arrogance. There is disdain for any authority that does not acknowledge your authority. There is resistance to learning from authority, as you are the only expert. Because of this attitude we cannot learn; we cannot receive from someone else. We remain limited and full of what we have decided.

The purpose of a teacher is to help us to gain mastery. When we learn, we take in and build the skill set and capacity to handle what comes our way. A good teacher does that; they do not shield us from learning. They actually allow us to go through what we need to in order to achieve mastery. The world is the laboratory. The truth is, we can learn our lessons everywhere in the world from a good teacher. The teacher is not interested in limiting us. They are interested in sharing their own knowledge.

Self-taught people are often terrible students. They are the ones who dictate their learning without ever having learned how to learn. Think of it: you are completely ill-equipped, but you are directing the interchange. Self-taught people believe they already know what they need to know, and so see the teacher as a resource, an object to be utilized according to the student’s design. “You are going to teach me when I want you to teach me. Not at other times will you teach me, because I am in charge of my education.” For these students, no one else really exists. They are not used to listening and taking in, only debunking.

There is a big difference between the arrogant autodidact and the person who has surrendered to learning from teachers, has learned how to learn, and then can go on to use those skills effectively and with appropriate discernment. These people know how to ask the right questions and especially how not to rest on their laurels. They are not satisfied with superficial knowledge but will dig deeper, and they know how to dig deeper into a subject or situation to find knowledge and resolution. They have actually mastered the art of learning, and so are in fact experts in how to learn, which allows them to approach any subject and be able to reach a certain level of expertise as long as they have the physical and mental capacity. A self-taught person will approach a new project with limited interest, perseverance, and ability to acquire any depth of expertise. They will hit a wall at some point and not know how to break through it. The person who has learned knows how to approach an obstacle or challenge and move through it to attain mastery.

Arrogant autodidacts are extremely irrational, though they think they are rational. The problem is, they based all their rational thinking on an irrational decision they made early in life. Because they have not surrendered to the rigors of real study, they have not advanced. The very foundation of their learning is based on a falsehood, and because they will not surrender to a teacher they have no chance of ever seeing this. Their house of cards will eventually come down, but they will not know why.

When I was four years old I went to Sunday school. My paternal grandmother was the teacher. It was Hanukah. I was just sitting in the class being babysat. To keep me occupied I was given a mimeograph to color of Judah Maccabee standing on some rocks. I grew up in Boston, so when I heard his name I knew he was Scottish. I colored him with a plaid kilt. No one said anything, so my decision was set. I never questioned this and grew up knowing that it was Judah MacAbee, a Scotsman. Not until I was 23 did the truth hit me. By this time I had studied with great teachers. I had a terminal academic degree and my own school in Cambridge, MA for Tai Chi Chuan. Being a martial artist, I was committed to my sense of being a warrior.  Around this time of year, my memories came up of Hanukah; I remembered Judah MacAbee, and it hit me as a great insight (proving we should not be so proud of our insights) that Maccabee could not have been a Scotsman. He had to come from a different part of the world. Now everyone knows the extent of my childhood religious education.

Correct or Human….

 December 9, 2012

Rohini shares stories showing the difference between being correct and being human. For more videos and lessons, sign up for a free or paid subscription.

Letting Go of Childhood Decisions….

 December 9, 2012

Rohini discusses how decisions we made as children still shape our lives, and how to let go of those old choices.

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Flip….

 December 9, 2012

Flip

Respectful

Playful

Groveling

Don’t be ashamed….

 December 9, 2012

Don’t be ashamed of your past; it is what got you to where you are now.

Fearful….

 December 3, 2012

Fearful

Courageous

Cautious

Reckless

An accommodator becomes….

 December 3, 2012

An accommodator becomes a collaborator, an accomplice.

Correct or Right….

 December 2, 2012

There is a difference between being correct—following protocol—and actually being right.

Baba taught me to be okay even if no one talked to me or liked me. Yes, Baba taught me to be okay no matter what. How did he do that? In 1979, when Baba took the appointments secretary position away from me, people stopped talking to me. They believed I had committed some terrible sin and so did not want to be seen with me; they distanced themselves from me.  So I got to see who had only talked to me because of my position and who still talked to me after that position was taken away. When there was just me, nobody got anything; nobody got any prestige or value from being with me. In this kind of situation we get to see people’s motives. When there is difficulty we see where people are. I remember learning how few true friends I had. Even if you are just asking for help and you think people will be there, you may be surprised. Baba wanted me to be human and free, and in order for that to occur I had to see clearly. He made me see what I was attached to and then let it go. Baba was no fool. When Baba said, “Love everyone, trust no one”, he was speaking from experience. He was a realist. He was a saint.  He saw things the way they really were. He wasn’t going to pretend things were nice; he knew how things are.

It came to me recently that there is a big difference between being correct, as in following protocol, and actually being true, as in being human. If there is anything that Baba taught me, it is how to be human first. Don’t get me wrong, I love structure; I always loved being in a situation where I knew exactly what was expected and knew the protocol and could easily follow. Baba tortured me with that. He made me keep letting go so that I could see what was truly human as opposed to what looked appropriate and correct but was really rigid and cold. And tested I was. Most people found me tactless, and from a certain perspective I was. But they did not understand that Baba was directing everything I was doing. He used my willingness to be out there to place me in situations to teach me. Baba wanted us to be free; he taught in ways that were appropriate for each individual.

I remember a time at the DeVille in 1976 when the head of SYDA was to tell somebody something Baba had told him to say. It was not the nicest thing to say. And this man was a nice man, truly a nice man. So when he told this person he softened it.  Of course, Baba found out. And Baba’s response was “Everyone’s going to like you but me”. This stung the man to the quick and he knew what he had done. I’m sure he never did that again to Baba. So is the lesson here just to follow the guru without thinking?  No. This is about discernment. This is about being human; being appropriate. This is about having the guts to say what needs to be said even if it is uncomfortable.

Baba, for me, was always appropriate. He was neither tactless nor correct. He was right and human. And he was not rigid. To be human we must be fluid; we must be able to assess what is actually needed and then act appropriately. This is not about following a formula. This is not about self-interest. For many people, taking care of themselves means taking care of their small selves and this is their motivating force. And that is what ends up being correct and following protocol. We will say the same lines again and again, believing we are kind and good and following the appropriate path. Only later, if we are lucky, do we find out how inappropriate and tactless we actually were.

At Yale Divinity School the spouses of future priests started a support group. I went the first night. We were to go around and share our backgrounds. When it came to me I was honest, which brought an awkward silence. Afterwards my neighbor said, “You didn’t offend anyone”. I never thought that I was offensive, so why would she use that word? This was my history; there were no crimes or offenses of which I was aware.  After that, the women were in fact distant and one little girl said to my then two year old that she was not allowed to play with him. Human? I think not—rather, correct and definitely safe. My then-husband had already told me I could not display pictures of Baba in the living room and not to tell anyone I came from a Jewish family. I had been tactless by telling simple truths about myself. Wow.

So here comes the reason for correctness and protocol: the avoidance of discomfort for all the players. When we are human and right, things can get messy. There can be awkwardness; we can feel wronged by the messenger. Or, as the messenger, we want people to like us so we cloak the honest answer and deceive them and ourselves. Protocol looks safe, but if it is not appropriate it causes injury and is tactless. Being human brings us to resolution. There is resolution with protocol and correctness when they are right, human and appropriate.

We have to discern when to speak up and when to be quiet. This decision needs to come from deep within the Heart.  Depending on the situation, we may open our mouths, following protocol and believing we are being appropriate, and cause terrible injury, because keeping quiet would have been the human and appropriate action. In a movie from many years ago called Absence of Malice, a journalist reports something that is correct but inhuman, and it causes terrible injury. You can feel that your intention was good and clear, but then what do you do with the injured person in front of you? Do you say that it is theirs to deal with and you did nothing wrong? You followed the “correct” path. Was it correct? Were we human? Did we have empathy? Did we see from their side or do we not have to because we are “correct” at all times?

Where is seeing the other as ourselves? If we knew we were standing on the other side would we be so “correct”, or would we be human and appropriate, and express love in a way that Truth shone through and resolution was available for all the players?

“Walking Home with Baba” Book Signing December 1, 2012 at Matava Shoes….

 December 2, 2012

Stilling Disturbance….

 December 2, 2012

Rohini shares how to still the disturbances within us. For more videos and lessons, sign up for a free or paid subscription. 

Defining Meditation….

 December 2, 2012

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Baba Teaches me to See….

 December 2, 2012

Rohini Ralby reading from Chapter Four of her book “Walking Home with Baba:The Heart of Spiritual Practice”. For more videos and lessons, sign up for a free or paid subscription. 

Action and Compassion….

 December 2, 2012

Rohini Ralby reading from Chapter Thirteen of her book “Walking Home with Baba:The Heart of Spiritual Practice”. For more videos and lessons, sign up for a free or paid subscription. 

The Need for a Teacher….

 December 2, 2012

Rohini Ralby reading from Chapter Eleven of her book “Walking Home with Baba:The Heart of Spiritual Practice”. For more videos and lessons, sign up for a free or paid subscription. 

Baba’s Worldly Wisdom….

 December 2, 2012

Rohini Ralby reading from Chapter Ten of her book “Walking Home with Baba:The Heart of Spiritual Practice”. For more videos and lessons, sign up for a free or paid subscription.

Baba’s Heat….

 December 2, 2012

Rohini Ralby reading from Chapter Ten of her book “Walking Home with Baba:The Heart of Spiritual Practice”. For more videos and lessons, sign up for a free or paid subscription.

The Real Teaching….

 December 2, 2012

Rohini Ralby reading from Chapter Six of her book “Walking Home with Baba:The Heart of Spiritual Practice”.

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Purifying the Warrior….

 December 2, 2012

Rohini Ralby reading from Chapter Four of her book “Walking Home with Baba:The Heart of Spiritual Practice”.

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The Heart….

 December 2, 2012

Rohini Ralby reading from Chapter One of her book “Walking Home with Baba:The Heart of Spiritual Practice”.

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Spiritual Practice….

 December 2, 2012

Rohini Ralby reading from the Preface of her book “Walking Home with Baba:The Heart of Spiritual Practice”.

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Near-death Experience….

 December 2, 2012

Rohini Ralby reading from Chapter 6 of her book “Walking Home with Baba:The Heart of Spiritual Practice”.

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Sadhana is Active….

 December 2, 2012

Rohini affirms that spiritual practice is not passive, but active, dynamic and vital.

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John Pollara talks about Rohini Ralby’s book “Walking Home with Baba”….

 December 2, 2012

John Pollara discusses what he has learned from Rohini Ralby, and how that understanding can be found in her forthcoming book.

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Who am I, really?

 December 2, 2012

Rohini Ralby elucidates who we are not in order to reveal who we really are.

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Faculty of Knowing….

 December 2, 2012

Rohini’s Ralby’s Lessons & Questions class on the faculty of knowing.

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Ian Ralby talks about his mother’s book “Walking Home with Baba”….

 December 2, 2012

Ian Ralby (http://irconsilium.com) reflects on the teachings in Rohini Ralby’s new book “Walking Home with Baba”.

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Going Back to Basics….

 December 2, 2012

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Book Signing a Great Success….

 December 1, 2012

The Book Signing was a wonderful event. The feeling was lovely. There were so many people. Thank you to everyone that contributed especially Kathy and Clara. The cake was amazing to look at. The flowers were exquisite. Most important all the people shared and gave of themselves. Thank you All.

Without reflection….

 November 25, 2012

Without reflection, we are just senses with feet.

Deep….

 November 25, 2012

Deep

Trivial

Pretentious

Human

Risk….

 November 25, 2012

Risk is no risk when you are an expert. How many times have we watched someone with great skill and believe that they are doing the impossible, when in fact they themselves feel it is no big deal? Yet when we are ignorant and act without skill, we are the ones risking. It is really dangerous, and it is out of our wrong vision that we believe we are sure of what we are doing. Because of our lack of knowledge we are not even aware of the possible stakes. This usually ends in a mess, and the question is, why me? The answer should be, because I choose it.

When we are experts we see the whole picture and know things that people with less skill do not. So the expert is sure of all possible risk because he has more and better data [and knows how to interpret it?]. The non-expert will probably devise a solution fraught with risk because he lacks the information that would have guided him directly to the resolution. Then many will say the expert is lucky, but he will say no, the direction is clear.

So how do we become an expert? Yoga Sutras I.14 states that through practice done for a long time, with no interruption and with great devotion, we can reach our goal. We need persistent, correct hard work to bring us to the knowledge we seek. How many times have we seen people putting in effort that does not bear fruit because it is not right effort? They are inefficient and may be repeating the same shallow process and not wanting to face the challenge that is in front of them. They continue to perform this same activity thinking it will bring them success. At some point, these shallow workers decide that the knowledge is flawed or that it is impossible to attain. They abandon the work. If they had looked at how they had approached the work they could have seen that their own effort was flawed. From these conclusions they decide that the expert was just talented; it was easy for him. They ascribe words like ‘lucky’ to the expert, and this removes any sense of responsibility for their own failure. No, every true expert has worked extraordinarily hard and pushed through obstacles that most people have never met.

At some point the effort is so internal no one can see it, so observers think real effort does not exist. The path to becoming an expert follows the three levels of attention and prayer expressed by all spiritual traditions. St Symeon in the tenth Century and the Siva Sutras speak of these three levels in regard to spiritual practice. They can, however, be applied to the acquiring of any expertise.  First we see the person doing the same activity as we do. This is the first level. We are all struggling with the external processes. We learn the tools and techniques of the trade. We are using our five senses. We are learning external structure and skill. For most, that is all there is. And that is the problem. Some, however, begin to question and look to understand intellectually what they are learning. They will study and will wrestle; they will even try other techniques to the same goal. These people know there is more to know and are moving in the direction of acquiring that knowledge. For them expertise is having the most knowledge and skill. They are heading in the right direction, but they are not done; there is more after this.

When I was a dancer, we used to work hard to have full control over our instrument so that it could say and do whatever we wanted it to. But we were never going to be dancers until we could go beyond technique. To be an expert we have to follow the steps, the first and second level of knowledge. We have to practice the skills and techniques and become proficient in the processes in which we are working. We have to learn the ins and outs so that our skill is at the highest level—and then we have to let go of all control. The small self cannot be a part of this. It cannot take credit for any of the work or the outcome of our work. Once we have acquired the knowledge we have to surrender to God, to the Self, to really be an expert. We may let go in the early stages by sheer accident, but that does not make us an expert. First, we have not yet acquired the skill at a high enough level, and second, it was an accident that we let go; we were not conscious. The small self will come back and say I don’t know what happened, I don’t know who that was. No, to be a true expert we have to have worked to a level where we have full control of our subject both physically and intellectually; then we let go of the control and God is the doer. At that point we are at the third level.

There are no shortcuts. The three levels have to be practiced in order to reach mastery. We own, master and then transcend. And we are now not risk takers.

Even when we….

 November 18, 2012

Even when we use words like “infinite” to describe God, we are attempting to limit God.

Correct….

 November 18, 2012

Correct

Right

Appropriate

Tactless

Thank you….

 November 18, 2012

Whatever God does He does for good. So say thank you. Yes, say thank you. When things go “wrong”, say thank you. When things go “right”, say thank you.

We are actors in a play. Stop complaining about the scene in which you are playing. First, the part was designed specifically for you; second, the lines are up to you. If you are playing the victim, that is your choice. If you are playing the bully, again that is your choice. You could change the way you relate with the scene you are in. The act and how it is playing out may be set, but at least your acting and the way you approach the scene is up to you. You can improvise; you do not have to always say the same lines. So no complaints about all the other actors, no complaints about the props or scenery.  Have you noticed how we never complain about the lines we deliver? We say we have no choice. Not true.

Everything, no matter where we are, is God’s play. So all is sacred, from the seemingly concrete and mundane to the most sublime, if we are relating appropriately. Everything is here to teach us to return to God. It is up to us. Even the hard and miserable times are from God. We decide how are we going to play our part, what lines are we going to say, what emotion are we going to express.

God resides in war. Yes, He does. God resides in peace. Yes, He does. He resides in everything. We can choose not to fight or to fight appropriately. We can also be inappropriate and battle it out blindly. There are groups of people that are attached to fighting, and there are people that are attached to peace. It is their nature, we say. Can we change? Yes. Can we learn to be appropriate? Yes. Are we willing to change the lines we read? We should be. But we have to know they are just lines and not who we are before we can let go of them and find something else to say.

So our complaints and fights are lines that we may use regularly. Though we might not be bored with the lines, for all we know our friends are completely bored with them. We may keep those lines going and going and going, and if we have friends that enable us they will just sit there and nothing will change. Our friends may change, they may change their attitude, and that can be helpful for us. Why? Because when they are truly our friends, they can tell us to stop complaining, to shut up. Then, instead of being angry with them, we should be able to say thank you.

If we really want to change things, then we have to be able to keep our mouths shut and burn up our fight within ourselves. When we do that we are freeing ourselves, and changing the way we approach our parts in the divine play. Repeating our lines dilutes the lesson so we cannot even see or feel it anymore. The fact is that if we keep quiet a friction is created inside, grinding down the vibration that encourages the inappropriate lines. We no longer wish to express things the old way. This refraining from expression is a great opportunity for us to dissolve, free ourselves from and change our lines. Our part in the play moves so that we actually are in harmony with God.

The whole purpose of this theater is to bring us home to God. Everything—and I mean everything—can be a means to that end. But we have to be willing to approach everything—and I mean everything—in that way. Once we do that, our lines, our scenes, and our acts become more interesting, and we are more willing to play.

So what is it going to be? Kicking and screaming down the path or riding the horse in the direction it’s going?  You choose. We always do choose, whether we know it or not. We choose to complain. We choose to kick and scream. We choose to go smoothly. We can choose to go to God consciously. We do have the freedom to go to God. So say thank you.

Grace….

 November 11, 2012

There’s so much talk about Grace. Born again, Pentecost, Yoga, New Age, from every corner we hear this word used. What is Grace? For me, Grace is knowing who I really am. Knowing through Being is what Grace gives us.

Many people believe that Grace is having the bells and whistles; the lights, sounds, feelings, smells, and even tastes that comprise supernatural experiences. The Desert fathers spoke of the dangers of seeing lights or hearing voices. They knew that these supersensuous experiences could delude a monk into thinking he was somewhere he wasn’t. Today we face the same concern. If I have extravagant experiences, then I can delude myself into thinking I am superior to others. I should be on the long path heading to God, but I fall to the side of the road, believing that if I see subtler colors or hear subtler sounds than you then I am further along the path than you. Considered this way, it looks rather silly.

In the ashram of Swami Muktananda, many people had incredible experiences. These experiences were amazing, but for many people everything went back to normal after they returned to their homes. Around Baba people would have extravagant experiences and even feel that they saw and knew the Truth. And some did. And what was the truth?  Knowing and Being who they were. Baba used to say, “I give you what you want so that someday you will want what I have to give you”. Those people who went beyond the experiences to know themselves had Grace.  This is what Baba wanted to give each of us.

Sometimes people who had very powerful experiences but had not done the work of stilling their own individuality ended up having humongous egos, enlightened small selves that were sure they had achieved something great. These people ended up deluding themselves, and often others. Because they believed everything that came from them was from God they could never do anything wrong. Their orientation brought them to this:  “If my intentions are always good, then I am always good. When I commit a wrong, since it was not my intention, I am not wrong or bad. I am above judgment, because I am sure that I have nothing but good intentions.” How sad.

Powerful experiences can show us that we may be on the right track, but these experiences are not the goal. If that were the case, then on the physical plane people who have wealth and beauty would be Realized despite the fact many of these people are not even interested in knowing Reality.

Without reflection, we are just senses with feet. And then when we have supersensuous experiences we think we are super. It is only when we reflect and see that these experiences are nothing but subtle matter, subtle vibrations, that we can then move on toward our true destination. Let us say we want to go to Boston from Baltimore. We reach Philadelphia, which is filled with many distractions, so we do not leave. We never get to Boston, our goal. Supernatural powers are like that image of Philadelphia: we have to go through them, but we need to leave our attachment to them behind. We need to move on to the goal. If we have not received Grace, then we may just stay in Philly fascinated and deluded by signs, thinking we have reached our destination.

Receiving Grace is receiving the Reality of who we are and knowing it.

Contrary….

 November 11, 2012

Contrary

Amiable

Stands up

Doormat

There is a difference….

 November 4, 2012

There is a difference between being human and being a personality. As a human we use our personality to express our humanness. As a personality we hide our humanness and manifest our limited shrunken small selves as if they is who we really are. We manifest limited characters in a play with set scripts, set actions and no creativity. We do not have the ability to see clearly or to see the whole picture. Our decision-making is completely based on how our personality sees, its motivations and its survival. An example is when we change jobs thinking things will be better only to find ourselves in a similar situation with just different players who actually have the same scripts as the last place we worked. As long as we remain individuals we never go beyond limited reality; we never go beyond our shrunken selves. We never connect, and I mean truly connect, with another human being. We remain locked in the prison we created so long ago, believing that this is just the way it is.

Families tend to be groups of personalities, not humans. As children we end up harmonizing with the personalities around us. This can be done either by fitting into the vibration of the family or fighting the vibration of the family, depending on our karma and what we have to learn. Either way, we are attached and manipulated by the vibrations. Usually we want to fit in, so we take on the vibration of our first group, our family. We actually were supposed to learn how to be true to ourselves even in that environment, but we assume that our family loves us, and love is the source of all, so the vibration our family has must be love. We willingly choose to be shrunken individuals. And our connectedness is small self to small self. We bring our understanding into every aspect of our lives.

We talk about someone who is professional and appreciate the way they work. They are efficient. They get the job done. The only complaint is they may be not fun or that they are impersonal.  Then, however, we have the unprofessional, the worker who is always a personality. This person presents their personality as more important than the work; whatever that may be. We find that when we are dealing with the unprofessional we have to deal with the personality and not just a person doing the job. We may have to be careful how we word requests because otherwise the person will react and not do their job. Personality should not undermine our job; we should be serving the situation. When we are professionals, personality does not overshadow the job.

Do you hide your humanness? Do you present as being just your personality? When your small self is sincere and strong do you believe that that is your essential self?

Being human is having a personality not being controlled by it. We are less than who we are when we are just our personality. Who we really are enlivens the personality. Who we are informs our personality. Our personality is a vehicle we use; we should not be used by it. How many times have we found ourselves manipulated in situations because of our personality? We are not in charge, it is. Our practice is to see our vehicles for what they really are which is not us. They are here to help us both function and play on the physical plane. We are here to play the game of returning home. Thinking and living as if we are our personality deludes us to remain stuck in wrong understanding. As we disentangle and see we are the Perceiver not the perceived we no longer hide our humanness; we no longer hide behind our personality. We learn to rest in and be who we really are and then inform our vehicles so that our expression is pure love rather than the twisted love that comes from the thinking that we are personality. So go forth and keep removing wrong understanding, so that we shine through as truly human and our personality is there to support that.

Worthless….

 November 4, 2012

Worthless

Priceless

Humble

Gaudy

It is 1:45 and….

 October 29, 2012

It is 1:45 and we have been queued since noon with still another hour ahead. We are waiting for the opportunity to vote early. There are hundreds of us, all waiting to vote. When we got here we thought the line wasn’t too long to get into the building, so we waited an hour and a half. But when we got into the building we learned we had another hour and half. Once in, the line wound around the halls of the building. So we were committed, or at least I was.

We are getting there. People are on their phones. One woman is knitting. Some are reading. People are meeting and talking with each other. All are sharing, the one purpose of voting early. None of us will meet again, yet we are here today. The goal and the circumstance have contributed to a bond.

Presently we are in a long hallway with people on both sides. We are sharing a rather close space. We are all so different and yet each of us is here to vote. And each of us has a voice and is here to contribute that voice. We are able to participate in a collective voice that is able to move the country in which we live. No one voice is more important than another; together we have a great impact.

We are on a pilgrimage, we hundreds of people. And there are milestones we must pass through. The first milestone was to get inside the building out of the cold. Then we faced the disappointment of yet a longer wait. We had to then decide, do we leave or face the challenge ahead? Once that decision was made, we quickly, or rather not so quickly, headed toward an unexpected long narrow hallway. We were encouraged by people not to lose hope. And so the next milestone arrived after moving down the hallway; we were able to turn the corner and return back down the hallway toward the entrance.  On this other side of the hallway the next milestone was a light in the distance before we turned and reached the final approach to the voting room. During that last stretch of hallway most of us were tired, our backs ached and we wondered if this was worth it. Just like any pilgrimage we had all the trials and tribulations.

Finally the end is in sight. And we have reached our destination. As we wait to go into the voting room we see people just coming into the building and they have all the feelings we had an hour and a half ago. We want to assure them, we feel sorry for them, we sympathize, and yet we are not going to discourage them from going through this journey.

Once in the room it only takes a few minutes. I had already prepared my answers and knew which way I was voting. The whole process took three hours. So was it worth it? Absolutely. Every day we go on a pilgrimage. Sometimes it’s rough, sometimes it’s easy and in the end hopefully we reach our goal. Today we did. And why was this so important to me? So many of us see the right to vote as no big deal, but as humans we are directing what lies ahead and contributing to the directing of what lies ahead.

Everything we do is and can be spiritual practice. Yesterday while going to vote I practiced internally. Today in the midst of a hurricane I practice. Tonight as we celebrate Baba’s Mahasamadhi I will practice. At all times, in all places and in all actions we should turn to God. Go into the Heart and love your life, your pilgrimage.

Belittled….

 October 29, 2012

Belittled

Affirmed

Recentered

Deluded

During a disturbance….

 October 29, 2012

During a disturbance of any kind, we should work to still our own vibrations. Otherwise, we contribute to the initial disturbance.

Sometimes I….

 October 22, 2012

Sometimes I come out swinging. And you know, sometimes swinging is appropriate. Ranting about practice is the usual way I swing. So I am including the clip Ray isolated out a few years ago where I encouraged everyone not to listen to anything.

The two sides of a dichotomy have a conversation on a regular basis. What’s wrong? Nothing, if you really enjoy back and forth, back and forth. In order for us to be ourselves we have to give up both sides of the dichotomy. Not one, both sides. As long as I am caught oscillating back and forth, back and forth I can’t do anything. More importantly, I’m unhappy and cannot find the escape. There comes a time when we all have to say I’d rather have nothing than this. So even if I do not know my true voice and I have not been graced with the experience of the witness or the true voice I at least am willing and able to give up listening to the dichotomy, to the conscience, to the good voice, to the bad voice, to the one that argues, to the one that is always going back and forth telling me to do this and telling me not to do this, why can’t I do this, then blaming this person, then blaming that person. No, it is time for all of us to reach that point where I’d rather have nothing than this.

Once we have started practicing, not listening, then we’re on the path. This doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy; this doesn’t mean everything is going to go my way or your way. This means we’re heading in the right direction. Do I know what it is that I need to be doing? No, not necessarily-discernment comes with quiet. But it does mean that I know the direction to go. If I keep putting my attention out of my head, out of my thoughts, out of my ideas, out of my emotions, and keep moving my attention to the Heart, then one day grace will come and I will know where it is I am actually going. So don’t worry about having your voice. Worry about getting rid of the voice you have. Stop listening to anything. After a while you will begin to actually hear your real answer.

So I’m swinging for you. I’m out here telling you to stop listening to anything. We think we are doing it our way when in fact we are actually doing it our small self’s way. We are not in control, though we are so sure we are. Be quiet so you can hear your own voice. Remember, you cannot hear your own voice until you stop listening to the dichotomizing voices. Practice and you will find your own Heart. Now.

The Real Goal….

 October 21, 2012

Rohini Ralby discusses the difference between the small self and the true Self.

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Criminal….

 October 21, 2012

Criminal                                                                        Innocent

Independent                                                                 Voiceless

Your conscience….

 October 21, 2012

Your conscience is not your true Self.

Relating From Where?

 October 20, 2012

Rohini explains how we listen to the wrong “sure” voice and how, in a relationship, we must choose whether to be either a companion or a competitor.

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Today Walking Home with Baba: The Heart of Spiritual Practice comes out….

 October 15, 2012

Today Walking Home with Baba: The Heart of Spiritual Practice comes out. This is a huge step for me. I have been practicing what Baba taught me all these 30 years since he left his body.

When I first went to Baba I was not enamored of the trappings around him, but I was attracted to him, not really knowing what “him” was. Then, at a retreat, Baba revealed to me that he had what I had been looking for all along; the Truth of who we are. This was not through his public talks, where Baba expressed the Truth in simple and overarching language. This was through the experience of “knowing” beyond thought, which can so often cloud the Truth.

From that moment on I have followed Baba while he was in his physical body and then all these years since. Living the internal practice that underlies all traditions, the practice that Baba taught me, has brought me to today. Baba did not allow me to get attached to any trappings or external practices; he did not allow me to be repulsed by them either. He pushed me to stay neutral, focused on the Real.

This helped me so much when, after Baba’s death, I returned to the United States to a culture I had never lived in. With a small baby and in a purely Christian environment, I was able to practice without anyone ever knowing. This practice was in fact the same one that Meister Eckhart, Julian of Norwich, St Teresa, Thomas Merton, St Anthony, and St Symeon all practiced. Baba had given me what I had gone to him for: the internal practice beyond the senses, beyond the mind, where the will orients back to the Heart. He taught me this not as a nice idea but as a reality. It is a bridge that takes us Home, where our individuality is dissolved back to who we really are.

So today, after years of distilling and teaching what I learned, in Baba’s honor, I bring forth this offering to share with everyone what this great Guru taught me and continues to teach me. I believe in my Heart that Baba is happy with this offering to him. I pranam to Swami Muktananda my Guru. Sat Gurunath Maharaj Ki  Jay!

Below is a picture of my book today in Blackwell’s Bookstore in Oxford, UK. To be in this bookstore is an honor and allows me to give appropriate homage to Baba.  

Jesus died so….

 October 15, 2012

Jesus died so that Christ could be revealed.

Self-care….

 October 15, 2012

Self-care

Bleeding heart

Selfish

Care for others

Pacifier….

 October 8, 2012

Pacifier

Troublemaker

Pushover / wimp

Strong / straight

The light that enlivens….

 October 8, 2012

 The light that enlivens the subtle creative process is the same light that enlivens the shrunken, ignorant, delusive small self.  We have to choose–and we can choose–what we enliven.  Will and discernment are so important.

Love enlivens everything, but because it passes through different vehicles until it reaches full manifestation, by the time it manifests fully it is twisted love. We then have a narrative that we live out, and we believe there is no other way to see things. Each of us, though our expression is different, believes our way of seeing is the real way, the Way. Though we are the moon and not the sun, we believe we are self illuminative and sure.

Once we begin sadhana we learn that our view of the world is diminished and not universal. Our enlivening is not as pure and clean as we previously thought. We now turn around and look at our vehicles, which are covered with the dust and dirt that distort our light into a narrow and deluded vision and expression. We become reflective and grow aware of our impurities and faulty thinking. We are in the process of cleansing ourselves, so we can be who we really are rather than the shrunken self with whom we have wrongly identified. We are cleansing our will and discernment. In this phase, as we cleanse ourselves deeper and deeper we see the world with a wider vision, we understand in new and clearer ways. At this point we need to be extremely careful, because we can believe we are somewhere we are not. The fact that we can see from a greater perspective does not mean we are fully realized, or that we are better than others who have not attained our exalted position. Sadhana is about the removal of the wrong understanding that we created and enlivened in the first place. What are we so proud of? We made the mess we are now cleaning up. We are retracing our steps back to the beginning and cleaning as we go.

Finally, once we reach home in the Heart, where there is only Love, we then will turn again and manifest what remains: pure Love. There will be nothing to cloud the Truth. We will truly be who we are, with no distortion or diminishment. Pure Love expressing itself as Pure Love. If we were each to reach this place, we would still look different because our vehicles, even our pure vehicles, will express Love differently.

We will then manifest for the good of All, and no other reason.

The reality that everything….

 October 7, 2012

The reality that everything is, in Truth, God does not mean that we contribute nothing.  We choose what we contribute.  Are you contributing love and life or narrow-mindedness and rigidity?

Getting to the One Real Voice….

 September 30, 2012

The One Real Voice: you mean when I get angry and scream and am sure of what I am saying? You mean my authentic voice, the voice when I do not question what I am saying because I “know”? No. The voice I am speaking of is the one when we reflect and see the whole before we open our mouths. This is the voice that can sound angry, sad, quiet, loud, happy or whatever is appropriate for the moment. The expression is not the giveaway. Confidence, sincerity and volume do not make the voice real. Clarity, purity and discernment are elements of the Real voice.

How do we get to this voice? Definitely not by going outward and projecting. Only by turning into the Heart, by boring deeper and deeper until we rest in the Heart, will we speak with this voice. Why do we even want this voice? So we can be and express who we are. Otherwise we are enmeshed in the life of our small self and can never find fulfillment.

The Heart is the only place where we experience the real fullness of anything. The small self is diminished, so it experiences life in a diminished way. Only the true Self can experience the fullness of life. Why practice? Because we want to be alive. We are all moving home whether we know it or not, whether we think we want to or not. Our true nature is Love, and we all just want to be ourselves.  But there is only one way to do that.

Inflated….

 September 30, 2012

Inflated

Realistic

Ambitious

Deflated

Everyone thinks….

 September 30, 2012

Everyone thinks they have the greatest capacity to learn, so whatever they got was all there was to get.

New News

 September 27, 2012

This area of the site will be dedicated to news and announcements, both in terms of exciting things happening at Practice For Us and practical announcements for current students.

What does it really mean to own something?….

 September 23, 2012

What does it really mean to own something?

Are you thinking and reasoning or allowing yourself to be with your experience? Dissociating does not mean you are neutral. It is not rational. Do not intellectualize your experience. The Vijnanabhairava tells us we have to go back to the source. When we go toward the source we will experience Love and then realize that our twisted love was its manifestation. Do you learn from your experience? What do you learn? We can learn to dissociate or we can take things to Heart.

Choices when something arises:

1. Learn not to face anything.  Denial.  You’re miserable and don’t know it.

2. See where your attachments are and do nothing.  Therapy.  You know you are miserable.

3. Face your attachments and free yourself from them.  You free yourself from misery.

In order to burn up karma, we have to face reality and feel it. Remorse and repentance are required.

Remember:  Love enlivens and informs everything, even delusion.

Inert Dumbass….

 September 23, 2012

Inert dumbass

Smart / capable

Humble

Know-it-all

Everyone’s “sure” voice….

 September 23, 2012

Everyone’s “sure” voice is a dumbass. We want to trace our way back to the REAL sure voice.

Freed from Fear a reading from “Walking Home with Baba”….

 September 21, 2012

Rohini Ralby reading from Chapter Eight of her book “Walking Home with Baba:The Heart of Spiritual Practice”.

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“Walking Home with Baba” a reading Baba’s Great Gift….

 September 20, 2012

Rohini Ralby reading from Chapter Twelve of her book “Walking Home with Baba:The Heart of Spiritual Practice”.

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Change your goal….

 September 17, 2012

Change your goal and your actions will change. Your actions reflect your goal.

Searching For Identity….

 September 17, 2012

Searching for identity

Being

Learning

Being inert

I’ve always pursued spiritual practice; it’s just that my practice, and my understanding of practice, have evolved. As a little girl, my focus wasn’t on religious ritual but on the experience of being with and understanding God. Through dance, through Tai Chi Chuan, and finally through Muktananda, I came to understand what that truly means. I’ve always looked for the bottom line of existence.

2. How did your formal education factor into your spiritual development?

I’ve always been interested in finding good teachers. For me, discipline and structure have been very important. Throughout my formal education, I sought out the best teachers I could in whatever field I was studying. One chapter in my book relates stories about some of my early teachers.

3. Many people say that contemporary American culture is spiritually bankrupt or even toxic. Would you agree, and, if so, how would you suggest people sustain and develop their spiritual lives in that environment?

Yes, I agree—contemporary culture is largely hostile to real spiritual practice. We have worked to make God and spiritual practice acceptable to our lower selves. In our consciousness, God, the limitless, has been limited into narrow ideas, which are delusional. Our limited understanding tries to make the ungraspable graspable.  In the process, we lose God, and instead worship our own projections. In order to get on track and sustain an authentic spiritual life, you have to do what I did: seek out a good teacher or spiritual director, whatever faith tradition you inhabit. As a society, we used to value the apprenticeship model, where the master passes on a tradition of practice, as well as knowledge, to students, who gradually gain mastery themselves. We don’t seem to cherish this approach to acquiring knowledge and expertise anymore. We tend to disregard or disrespect the very notion of expert authority, especially in matters of the spirit.

4. What inspired you to write this book after so many years of practicing privately and declining to advertise?

As much as I mistrust the word, it was a “calling.” Spiritual practice means, among other things, being able to hear and trust your true innermost voice. I prefer to avoid the limelight, but I felt an imperative to write this book and send what I have learned, and what I teach, out into the world.

5. How can readers apply the teachings in Walking Home with Baba to their daily lives?

The most obvious answer is to read the book, which explains exactly how to do this. Spiritual practice isn’t something you do in a laboratory and then leave. You may start practicing in a quiet space, but your practice can’t mature until you’ve integrated it into your daily living. No matter where you are or what you’re doing, you can practice inwardly. And ultimately, spiritual practice is purely internal, and no one even needs to see you doing it, even in public.

6. Do readers have to give up their religious convictions or subscribe to Indian beliefs in order to practice what you teach in the book?

Absolutely not. Spiritual practice is universal; it isn’t specific to one creed. If you go to the heart of any real spiritual tradition, you will find the same practice.

7. What’s one example of a tool you’ve developed for spiritual practice?

Many of my students have found the Foursquare Personality Game to be a powerful tool for recognizing where they are attached, how those attachments distort their view of themselves and others, and how to free themselves. In the chapter of Walking Home with Baba that presents the Foursquare Personality Game, I explain how it works and offer some examples. The point is that our lower self will always label itself based on positive and negative dichotomies, and in most cases we won’t call the resulting qualities what they actually are. For example, I may think of myself as “spontaneous” when I’m actually impulsive and irresponsible, and the reason I refuse to be measured in my behavior is that I “know” that would be rigid and boring. In order to get clear of one side of that dichotomy of “spontaneous” and “uptight,” I have to accept that I have all four qualities (including “impulsive” and “measured”) and be completely okay with them. This is not an intellectual exercise—it has to be done in the moment, in total honesty.

8. How do the anecdotes about your experiences with Baba relate to the rest of the book?

Those stories show how I learned through actual events, and how we all can learn from the activities of our own lives. In most cases, I don’t attach an explicit lesson or moral to the stories. Readers will need to reflect on them.

9. How do you see yourself fitting into the lineage of Muktananda and Nityananda?

Baba always said that everyone who received Shaktipat from him was his successor. Of course, he meant those people who not only received Shaktipat but also consciously imbibed the practice. Baba is my Guru. He gave me Shaktipat and taught me the practice one-on-one, over many years.

10. You spoke at an international conference on human security the summer of 2012. How does spiritual practice relate to human security and conflict transformation?

Conflict transformation is only possible through inner transformation. Trying to transform a conflict from the outside in, by fixing the externals, doesn’t accomplish the real work of transforming people’s inner understanding of themselves, which is the real core of any conflict. There’s nothing naïve about this. On the contrary, there’s something very naïve about thinking that externally imposed structures will ever get to the root of a conflict.

11. You haven’t sought to affiliate yourself with any of the popularly known schools or networks of yoga practitioners and writers on spirituality. Why not?

I found my Guru, I found the path, and I’ve continually been doing my own work. There was no need for me to distract myself with extra affiliations.

12. You have two grown sons who have achieved at a very high level. How have your spiritual practice and your work as a spiritual director influenced your parenting?

My parenting is inseparable from my spiritual practice. Baba was my father and mother. He brought me up, and showed me what it means to be a good parent. My two sons have practiced from a very young age, and their practice has guided and sustained them through all their experiences, good, bad, and indifferent.

13. How do you enjoy yourself in your spare time in ways that are consistent with your spiritual practice?

To begin with, I’m constantly practicing. When I have free time, I enjoy hanging out with family, cooking, and eating, walking in my garden, and occasionally watching movies or television. I like watching sports, especially football. Spiritual practice doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy life. Baba always spoke of bukti and mukti—enjoyment and liberation. They’re not mutually exclusive.  The point is to be nonattached.

14. Several years ago, you had to face a diagnosis of breast cancer, and received extensive treatment. How did spiritual practice shape your response to cancer? How has that experience affected your spiritual practice and your work as a spiritual director?

As frightening and painful as that experience was, I approached it in the spirit Baba taught me: Whatever God does, He does for good. After each chemo treatment, I would go to my room for a week and dig in, boring into the Heart, and get under the experience of pain. I would rest there until I was able to get up and go about my life, still boring in beneath the pain. The entire experience affirmed the practice Baba taught me.

15. What difficulties did you have in articulating the subtle principles you present in Walking Home with Baba, and how did you overcome those difficulties?

I’ve been finding ways to articulate these things for years as a spiritual director, so translating all that into prose was not that difficult. Practice makes perfect.

16. How does the mind-body-spirit connection factor into spiritual practice?

Mind and body are objects.  The spirit—the Self—is not. They are not equal. The mind and body are temporary vehicles, the agents of the Self. They are real in the sense that they exist, but they are not eternal. Any spiritual practice that focuses on the body is missing the mark. The Self enlivens the body and the mind, and the Self must be the focus of any authentic spiritual practice. For a fully realized, liberated being, everything is revealed to be God, including the physical universe, but for the rest of us, that’s just a nice idea, and a misleading one.

17. How does your teaching fit into the New Age movement?

It doesn’t. My teaching follows the centuries-old lineage that came to me through Muktananda. My teaching works out of that tradition, using scriptures such as the Shiva Sutras and the Vijnanabhairava, as well as the Yoga Sutras and such Western texts as the sermons of Meister Eckhart and the Philokalia.

18. To what extent does your teaching overlap with what might be called therapy?

There is some overlap, in that you have to know your lower self’s system, a lot of which is based on your childhood experiences.. You can’t transcend what you don’t understand.  But that’s where the similarities end. In spiritual practice, problems are seen as life lessons that have to be mastered and transcended. Conventional psychology can identify many of your problems and help to acknowledge them, but it doesn’t show you how to transcend them, how to leave them behind. Spiritual practice does, because it’s grounded in a very different, deeper sense of the Self.

 19. How much of your spiritual direction involves showing people how to recover their inner child?

None whatsoever. The idea of the inner child is one of the most unhealthy concepts I’ve ever come across. In reality, the inner child is a spoiled brat who feels entitled, misunderstood, unappreciated, and resentful. It is a thought-construct, and all of us need to let it go. This doesn’t mean letting go of innocence and spontaneity; our inner child is actually neither of those. Letting go of the inner child means growing up into a human being.

20. Your guru, Swami Muktananda, died thirty years ago.  What has it meant for you to continue your practice, and to work as a spiritual director, for so long without your guru?

The truth is that I’ve never been without my Guru. First of all, Baba remains a living presence within and around me. Also, as Baba always said, the true Guru is the grace-bestowing power of God, which may act through a human being but is never just that person.

Love and worship….

 September 10, 2012

Love and worship. People so confuse the two. I love you, I worship you: very different. Many people are looking for someone who will worship them. That means they are looking for someone to objectify them. Love is not based on subject and object; worship is. In worship—and by worship I mean idealizing an object, not practicing sacred ritual—there is always the Other. With love we are moving to union. Our motive and action are selfless. Very different. Worship tends to deal in contracts:  “If I love you, you must fulfill my wishes”.

In some ways worship is an immature form of love; it is beginners’ love. When I adore someone, what am I adoring? My idea of the person. I am not really seeing and loving them. So I objectify, project and love/worship; this puts me in the realm of knowing not you, but my idea of you. I decided about you; I do not know you. And my decision is better than you. This is selfish and not in any way in relation with the person other than as a screen on which I can project. Whether it is a person or God, worshipping can fall into the category of “all about me”.

When we really love, the goal is union within. Can I experience who I really am in your presence? If I have to overcome all kinds of obstacles to do that, then we have a problem. At the beginning of a romance it is all about love, this all-powerful feeling, and that is all that matters. Both parties feel it. Then that feeling begins to disappear and we return to normal. The love is gone and all is as it had been. We then look for ways to get the feeling back. The only way is to do what we were doing inside ourselves, an internal activity of which we were unaware. It has to do with selfless surrender, letting go. Out of the head, into the Heart. The Heart moved us.

In some ways, shaktipat has a similar process. The Guru transmits the shakti into the disciple, and the disciple begins to have a very different experience. It will recede, and then the disciple will want it back. What were we doing internally? That is the practice that brings us to love, not just to worship

People think the mind….

 September 10, 2012

People think the mind is the modification. “My mind is killing me”. No. The modifications of my mind are killing me.

Shrew….

 September 10, 2012

Shrew

Loving / kind

Strong willed

Doormat

Using Rubber Duckies to explain Yoga Sutras I.32….

 September 9, 2012

Rohini Ralby uses rubber duckies to explain the nature of the mind, drawing on Hariharananda’s excellent book Yoga Philosophy of Patanjali.

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Using emotions….

 September 2, 2012

Using emotions as your discerning tool will lead you astray every time.

Characteristics of Mysticism….

 September 2, 2012

From Mysticism, by Evelyn Underhill:

1.  True mysticism is active and practical, not passive and theoretical.  It is an organic life-process, a somthing which the whole self does; not something as to which its intellect holds an opinion.

2.  Its aims are wholly transcendental and spiritual.  It is  in no way concerned with adding to, exploring, re-arranging, or improving anything in the visible universe.  The mystic brushes aside that universe, even in its supernormal manifestations.  Though he does not, as his enemies declare, neglect his duty to the many, his heart is always set upon the changeless One.

3.  This One is for the mystic, not merely the Reality of all that is, but also a living and personal Object of Love; never an object of exploration.  It draws his whole being homeward, but always under the guidance of the heart.

4.  Living union with this One–which is the term of his adventure–is a definite state or form of enhanced life.  It is obtained neither from an intellectual realization of its delights, nor from the most acute emotional longings.  Though these must be present, they are not enough.  It is arrived at by an arduous psychological and spiritual process–the so-called Mystic Way–entailing the complete remaking of character and the liberation of a new, or rather latent, form of consciousness; which imposes on the self the condition which is sometimes inaccurately called “ecstasy,” but is better named the Unitive State.

Mysticism, then, is not an opinion: it is not a philosophy.  It has nothing in common with the pursuit of occult knowledge.  On the one hand it is not merely the power of contemplating Eternity: on the other, it is not to be identified with any kind of religious queerness.  It is the name of that organic process which involves the perfect consummation of the Love of God; the achievement here and now of the immortal heritage of man.  Or, if you like it better–for this means exactly the same thing–it is the art of establishing a conscious relation with the Absolute.

Underhill, Evelyn.  Mysticism.  1911.  Image Edition.  New York:  Doubleday, 1990, p. 81.

Remorse and Compassion

 August 28, 2012

Rohini discusses the difference between real remorse and self-loathing.

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Clarity of goals and definitions….

 August 26, 2012

When we start a conversation we tend to look for common ground. This might be language, activities or anything that we feel will bridge us to the other person. In our desire to connect, we may miss what is actually going on.

If what we share is a common language, then we need to check our definitions. Assuming shared definitions can be quite dangerous. Savvy politicians equivocate; they use vague, overarching language to rope in as many people as they can. They work to let people believe they are on the same wavelength. We need to pin ourselves and others down.

When we assume, we are probably projecting, and relating according to an idea. If we are in fact not on the same page yet we are using similar language, communication can get frustrating. Though the words are the same, the definitions are quite different, so we are in fact speaking different languages.  Depth is an important factor here. Many times people will think they are in a deeper place and have a greater understanding than they actually have.  There is nothing wrong with being beginners unless they believe they are at the highest level of understanding. The truth is, we all have to face where we really are as opposed to where we think we are. Once we understand where we are we can begin to discern. If we know our definitions and are not vague but clear, we can actually communicate better and be able to hear someone else’s position.

Years ago I was in a conversation with a Christian chaplain. My error was that I assumed we wanted the same thing: union with God. He, however, did not believe that was an option. By union, he meant heaven, which for him was remaining a separate self and being with God, not transcending separateness and being absorbed in God. My mistake was that I had not asked up front for each of us to define terms. We were not even close.

So first question has to be, what do you want? Heaven is different from union with God. Pleasure is different from happiness.

If you are clear about your goal, then your life will then express your goal. Ask yourself what your goal is. Ask others what their goal is. Check it out. If your answer is going to God, wanting God, and others do not want that, then you are not on the same page. Their page is just fine. Do not then ram your position down their throats. And remember, we cannot assume all really want God as we do; their definition of God may be completely different.  Relax and know where you are.

Bleeding Heart….

 August 26, 2012

Bleeding heart

Realistic / detached

Compassionate / empathetic / humane

Hard hearted / unfeeling / cold

Warriors for peace and warriors for war….

 August 21, 2012

It hit me that Tolstoy had it right: War and Peace. We are organized into two teams: warriors for war and warriors for peace. We are playing a big game. There are times when more players are on the warriors for war side and times when the warriors for peace are winning.

As long as we remain separate from God we are warriors for war, though we may think we are peaceful. What matters is our motivation—where the action comes from. If we perform a peaceful action from a place of turmoil the action will be perceived as traumatic and agitated. It is not the action itself that necessarily decides the side it is on; it is the motivation that counts. How many times have we committed apparently innocent actions to only get yelled at and then say, “What?!”? Unable to acknowledge where we are coming from causes us much trouble. We are lying to ourselves and others.

Warriors for war may appear to be nonaggressive. And yet when we investigate deeper into their actions, what they do comes from a place of anger, separation, alienation or something that causes pain. Pleasure-seeking is seen as peaceful, yet it too encourages pain: pain of loss, pain of being away from one’s true self, pain of looking in the wrong direction away from God. So if we are to say what the main element is, it is pain for oneself and others.

Warriors of peace feel very different. Their focus is inward—looking to God within the Heart, not the mind or thoughts. Motivation turns to God’s will, not my will. So though their actions may appear harsh, they will be experienced as love. Soldiers can be and many times are warriors for peace.

So we have to be really careful not to judge based on action or our narrative’s judgement. The internal motivation is what to feel. If the person says, “It was not my intention to hurt,” that may not be true. Ask yourself, are you a warrior for peace or a warrior for war? Be careful to answer honestly.

Honest….

 August 20, 2012

Honest

Fake / for show

Rude

Polite

The right answer….

 August 20, 2012

The right answer from the wrong place is the wrong answer.

People who look….

 August 12, 2012

People who look outside themselves for completion try to “connect” with their eyes. They “meet” someone but in truth are just projecting and completing their small self.

Your narrative….

 August 12, 2012

Your narrative is just a dream. You can wake up from it.

Savvy….

 August 12, 2012

Savvy

Inept

Fraud

Transparent

Humane….

 August 12, 2012

Humane

Inhumane

Weak

Strong

Systems…

 August 6, 2012

Everyone uses a system, whether consciously or not.  Our family culture is a system of sorts, with jargon, rules, behaviors, judgements, and mannerisms both overt and covert. This being the case, when we meet someone new we unwittingly compare our system to theirs.  We may not even be aware of it, but we are in fact assessing others based on our system.  Many times, we hit it off or not based on unconscious decisions.

There have been times when I will start to tell someone about my tools like the foursquare and get the response, “I don’t like systems.”  I reply, “Oh, then what would you like to talk about?”  We will then meander down a path that demonstrates that person’s system.

There is nothing wrong with systems; they give our lives order and continuity.  What is important is to be consciously aware of what systems we use.  Don’t believe you are  the only person in the world who doesn’t use a system.  We all use them.  Rather, don’t be attached to your systems or identified with them.  If you are not attached to your system, you can adjust and be fluid and appropriate.  We need to be able to let go and not require everyone to relate with our systems.  This will give everyone a chance to relate with you and with each other.

Denial….

 August 5, 2012

Denial

Acceptance

Optimistic

Pessimistic

Obtuse….

 August 5, 2012

Obtuse

Astute

Off the hook

Blameworthy

Spiritual practice is not….

 August 5, 2012

Spiritual practice is not a cold remedy, something you use only when you have a problem.

Awareness of our motives….

 July 30, 2012

Awareness of our motives is so important. If we think we are playing when in fact there is anger underneath, the play becomes a game of hurt.

High Self Esteem….

 July 30, 2012

High self-esteem

Low self-esteem

Entitled / grandiose / know-it-all

Humble / learner

Undermined….

 July 30, 2012

Undermined

Supported

Challenged / played with

Coddled

Struggle….

 July 30, 2012

Struggle

Weak

Crushed

Happy

Transformation…

 July 29, 2012

So much language these days is about change, transformation, on all levels and in all sectors of our lives. The law of change is always working, but in what direction are we going? That depends on what we are doing now. So nothing is static, though we may think it is because it moves so slowly. The transformation I desire will emerge not from what I am saying today but from what I am actually doing today. Only if my words and actions are authentic will they lead me towards what I profess. If I carry any resistance to my action within myself, even unconsciously,  that resistance will manifest in the future, and I will unwittingly sabotage the transformation I seek.

People speak about our oneness, peace, love, all the good things. However, when things do not go “our” way that language tends to disappear. We cannot just talk, we have to walk. This means we must let go of our own limited sight and resistance to reality. We cannot superimpose Absolute Reality on relative reality.

We cannot let go of something we deny having or fail to see that we have. Herein lies our dilemma. If we do not acknowledge that we contain all qualities, we unwittingly create the negative or opposite of the peace and love we proclaim. We cannot walk on one foot forever. We have the other foot. To change ourselves or anything else, we must own, master and transcend both positive and negative. Then we are in fact walking the walk and not just talking.

My Second Morning Reflection….

 July 23, 2012

My second morning reflection at Caux on 24 July 2012:

I want to share an experience that I had many years ago. This contributed to directing me to where I am now.

During the monsoon of 1977, one of my tasks as head of security was to make sure mangy dogs didn’t get into the ashram. I blocked the ashram gates with wire mesh, but the dogs were still getting in. Then I discovered that they were coming in through the drainage pipes in the upper garden. I had to wade into the dense vegetation there in order to block those passages. Afterward, I began to feel ill. I thought it was the flu. A homeopath in the ashram agreed, but every two days, in the early afternoon, I got worse.

Baba sent the head of Kaliyan Hospital and a couple of other doctors to my room to examine me. The doctors concluded that I had an amoebic abscess. They wanted to take me to Kaliyan Hospital, a crowded, fly-infested facility nearby. Not knowing that one of them was the chief of Kaliyan, I said, “I’d rather die than go to Kaliyan Hospital.” They reported their diagnosis to Baba. Though I had been taking chloroquine, he advised them to treat me for malaria.

The next day, I was sicker than ever. I felt as though an elephant were standing on my chest. In the hundred-degree heat, I couldn’t stay warm. When I wasn’t freezing, I was burning up. My temperature hit 106°F. I lay on my bed wrapped in six blankets, and still my teeth chattered.

Suddenly, I was out of my body, looking down from near the ceiling. I was no longer an individual. Everything was still, and everything was perfect. I could see my body on the bed, but it was as if my seeing was everywhere, and I was everything. Then a decision was made—simply made, not by me—that I would return to my body. Back in my body, I opened my eyes and looked through them.

Rohini Ralby, Walking Home with Baba  p. 59

What I learned form this is that Everything IS perfect; we just don’t always see it. When we are STILL and are surrendered to God we can see that “whatever God does He does for good.” There is no situation, in truth, that isn’t perfect. Grace IS always present, and if we are surrendered we can receive it. Our job is to return to the Heart, rest there in stillness and God will then came forth.

Congratulations on your safe return! Your own home is paradise after an absence. Everyone feels alike about this. Exactly the same feeling comes to us when, after distraction, we return to attention and to inner life. When we are in the heart, we are at home; when we are not in the heart, we are homeless. And it is about this above all that we must take trouble.

Theophan the Recluse quoted in The Art of Prayer  p.192

Now let us practice. Be still and feel the peace and love within our Hearts. Then we will know that everything IS perfect.

Are you a warrior….

 July 22, 2012

Are you are warrior for war or a warrior for peace?

My First Morning Reflection….

 July 19, 2012

My first morning reflection at Caux on 11 July 2012:

“Let it be plainly understood that we cannot return to God unless we enter first into ourselves. God is everywhere but not everywhere to us. There is but one point in the universe where God communicates with us, and that is the centre of our own soul. There He waits for us. There He meets us; there He speaks to us. To seek Him therefore we must enter into our own interior.”

Bishop Ullathorne, from Groundwork of Christian Virtues, quoted in The Principal Upanishads, S. Radhakrishnan

“To stand guard over the heart, to stand with the mind in the heart, to descend from the head into the heart–all these are one and the same thing. The core of the work lies in the concentration of attention and the standing before the invisible Lord, not in the head but within the chest, close to the heart and in the heart. When the divine warmth comes, all this will be clear.”

Theophan the Recluse, quoted in The Art of Prayer  p.194

“In Ganeshpuri, I used to stand near Baba by the back stair of his house every day after lunch. Baba would sit on the steps, and either he would meet with people or he and I would just be quiet. It was when Baba and I were alone together there that he taught me the practice. While he lived it, I practiced it. Though outwardly I was looking at him, inwardly I was boring into the Heart and then resting there, still and quiet. There would be no thought, just stillness. That was how I connected with Baba. I would stand and he would sit for however long he wanted to be there each day. An onlooker wouldn’t have seen anything happening, but Baba was teaching me”.

Rohini Ralby, Walking Home with Baba  p. 61

“Walking Bliss” All the time no matter what is happening. Be in the Heart and look out at the world simultaneously. We can then be beyond what separates us and find the unity in the diversity. So this is not about not acting; it is about not being identified with our actions. Our job is to surrender to God and be in harmony with God.

Now let us go into the Heart. Let us still all vibration.

Rest, and when you come up to your thoughts let go and bring your attention back to the Heart.

Rest in the Heart. Be still.

My expertise is not….

 July 18, 2012

My expertise is not because of my body’s plumbing and orientation. It has come from many years of discipline, discernment, nonattachment and Grace. Someone earns the right to be called an expert by devoting many hours, days and years to their subject. Expertise does not come lightly. To think that anyone can take a workshop and then be an expert is crazy.

Also to include in the spirit of gender balance a man or a woman as a speaker when in fact they are not expert hurts everyone involved: the audience, the other participants and, more importantly, the speaker. Everyone is then belittled, and we unwittingly lower the caliber of  the event.

If we wish to reach a place of gender balance then we need to mentor the relevant people and provide appropriate and supportive situations for them to practice. They need to feel they are accomplishing something rather than drowning. Maybe it would be best for them to practice in a single-sex environment so that they get comfortable stepping up to the plate and testing what they believe they know. We need to encourage and enable each of us to acquire expertise and then have a venue to share that knowledge. Also each of us should be encouraged to be comfortable in our own skin and not take on qualities that are not in harmony with our true expression. As the Gita says, “It is better to do one’s dharma poorly than another’s well.”

People in a….

 July 15, 2012

People in a conversation can use the same words but not have the same meanings. Be careful:  you may not be on the same page.

First thoughts on Caux….

 July 15, 2012

We came up the steep mountain on Sunday 8 July. Not sure what was ahead, I really did not care because the view was magnificent. Everything I imagined the Alps to look like–Ian had not deceived us. Our room has large French doors looking out over Lake Geneva, the towns below, the French and Swiss Alps, and a most classic valley. This place is a perfect example of geographic types.

The people here have come from many different countries, and they are all in earnest about human security.  Sometimes the organized program gets in the way of the dialogues among the participants, but many of the plenary sessions have been helpful in that they have triggered further conversation. We will leave with our own understandings, definitions and courses of action. The people from nations all over Africa have brought such talent and competence that their contributions to the dialogue have been magnificent.

Our community, a group of people who share a work shift in support of the conference and also meet for conversations, has been the best thing about the conference for me. We came together unwittingly, simply by choosing a particular work shift, and have been able to share intellectually, emotionally and spiritually.  Our conversations have ranged from the relatively superficial to the sublime, nurturing each of us.

Giggly….

 July 15, 2012

Giggly

Mature / serious / responsible

Lighthearted

Grim

Complacent….

 July 12, 2012

Complacent

Engaged

Content

Obsessed

Human security….

 July 7, 2012

Human security starts within. The single greatest source of human insecurity is ignorance. Human security is the removal of ignorance; ignorance of who we and everyone truly are. You, the actor, are okay.  The character, the lower self, is in fear for its life.  To be truly secure you must let go of the character. That means not being identified with the role you are playing. We play our part, but we are not the part. So we can witness and see the choices we actually have.

The dialectic of ‘freedom from fear’ v. ‘freedom from want’ fails to take into account the internal experience of security.  If someone in a strife-torn region has internalized insecurity and has become identified with it, then improving their external circumstances will not remove their experience of insecurity, and they will then work, perhaps unconsciously, to recreate familiar insecurities, thereby perpetuating external as well as internal strife.

Internal insecurity is passed on from generation to generation within a community. As we grow we can give up the legacy, the tradition. This can be very difficult because it can be seen as disloyal. Do you want to move on or just remain stuck in the same narrative?

Excluded….

 July 7, 2012

Excluded

Included

Left alone

Smothered

The minute you think….

 July 7, 2012

The minute you think you are in the Heart, you are not.

Gurupurnima….

 July 3, 2012

Today is Gurupurnima, the Guru’s Full Moon. Everyday I bow down in deep appreciation for my Guru, Swami Muktananda, and all that he gave and continues to give me. The Guru is said to not be a person, body or a personality, but manifests in a being that has purified himself/herself and has then become one with his Guru and God. Muktananda was such a being.

When I went to Baba the first time I realized, through experience, that he had what I was looking for. Through that experience I knew he embodied what I wanted to know. After that, I began the process of becoming one pointed on my Guru. I loved and love Baba with all my heart and soul. People think that a person following a Guru loses their freedom. From surrendering to Baba I actually got my freedom for the first time in my life. Looking in from the outside it may appear that I had ‘no say’. But Baba wanted what was truly best for me; he taught me how to discern that for myself. Baba taught me how to truly listen to me. He freed me from the tyranny of my small self.

Now my job is to continue to listen and obey. By obeying my Guru I continue to awaken from my sleep and remember my true nature which is Love. I continue to practice. And the practice is there for each of us. Thank you, Baba for showing me the way. Thank you for being with me, teaching me, and putting up with me. I bow to you today and always.

Jai Gurudev!

We are attached….

 July 1, 2012

We are attached and identified with the dirt on the mirror.

Supported/ Nurtured….

 July 1, 2012

Supported / nurtured

Neglected

Smothered

Free / independent

Persecuted….

 July 1, 2012

Persecuted

Free / taken care of

Responsible

Coddled

You are not alone….

 July 1, 2012

You are not alone, except when you hyperfocus or dissociate. Work to be conscious and present.

Transparent….

 July 1, 2012

Transparent

Hidden

Exposed

Discreet

Tight/Rigid….

 July 1, 2012

Tight / rigid

Flexible

Strong

Weak / flaky

Disregard….

 July 1, 2012

Disregard

Pay attention

Let be

Intrude

Struggles….

 July 1, 2012

Struggles

Lets go

Perseveres

Lazy

Reject….

 June 25, 2012

Reject

Embrace

Free

Smother

Tyrant….

 June 25, 2012

Tyrant

Disciple / follower

Leader

Slave / peasant

Who am I?….

 June 24, 2012

Who am I?  At any given moment, I appear to be the furthest thing out that consciousness has enlivened.  So “who I am” changes from moment to moment.  My job is to return to Me and stay there, and not identify with what I enliven.

This seems so easy, “just be myself”; however, it requires intense work and Grace. We may believe we are being ourselves, but in reality we are identifying with an idea, a sense, a body, an energy, an emotion, any kind of vibration. The true Me is pure Subject with no object, the Perceiver not the perceived.

How do we return? By letting go of what you believe or even experience is you and then boring in toward the Heart. If we are boring in continuously we will keep finding that there is more and more that we perceive. What we thought was us is now perceivable, and so cannot and could not be us. If I can perceive it it cannot be Me.

Spiritual….

 June 24, 2012

Spiritual

Mundane / concrete

Absent / lost

Present

You cannot control….

 June 24, 2012

You cannot control anything within yourself that you have not owned.  

Human Security

 June 21, 2012

Rohini Ralby’s Lessons & Questions class on human security.

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Grandiose self assessment is….

 June 18, 2012

Grandiose self assessment is as detrimental to living fully as low self assessment. They are both faulty and cause decision making that brings the person to misery. There is no harmony when we operate from our self-esteem. Self-esteem is just a set of ideas that we have identified with; we have allowed our actions and decisions to be informed by these ideas. We judge our actions as good or bad based on these ideas. We relate with people and reject others based on these ideas.

So self-esteem gets in the way of who we really are and prevents us from changing to a happy, healthy life. If I believe, “I am a good person”, then I can do no wrong. I will be unable to see the actions I perform that cause harm. If I believe, “I am a bad person”, I will be unable and unwilling to see the positive actions I perform. In other words, my view of life is a fantasy. There is no clarity.

As we practice and are able to detach from these self-esteem characteristics, we can assess each moment with a clear or critical eye and begin the process of seeing things as they really are. We accept the diversity and see it clearly, not pretending it to be something it is not. And we see the unity where it really is, under all of the ever changing matter.

Love self….

 June 17, 2012

Love self

Hate self

Enable/indulge self

Criticize self

Self-esteem gets….

 June 17, 2012

Self-esteem gets in the way of our being ourselves.

Importance of Community

 June 15, 2012

Another class in Rohini Ralby’s Lessons & Questions.

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Student Testimonials

 June 13, 2012

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St. Symeon’s discussion….

 June 12, 2012